2009 KELSOS HELMET PRESEASON RANKINGS OF POWER
The 4th season of the BAFF is here, and as I write this I can't help to stare at the crystal trophy perched on top of my desk, still. Here they are through the eyes of the champ.
1) KELSOS HELMET - Well I must say I wasn't expecting to be getting the #4 WR off the board at pick 11 and that my draft strategy was somewhat foiled from the start. That said however I did have MEGATRON Calvin Johnson ranked just behind Andre Johnson on my board so was thrilled to select this UBER wideout. Nugget, I'll pause for a moment so you can look up the word UBER. Calvin had only 1 less Fantasy Point than Andre last year despite having 37 LESS receptions, and could defintly push for the #1 WR in fantasy this season. Despite how much Jeremy wants to blow Moss, Id just rather have a 24 your old freak rather than a 32 year old freak, who's got the bigger upside? Drew Brees is at the helm for The Helmet this year, the no doubt top QB from last year by 49 Fantays points. He threw for 500 more yards than every other passer in the NFL last year and I feel it was a gift at pick 14. That's the kind of QB i want on my team. Now here come the question marks. If Braylon Edwards and Chris Henry can both play as #2 wideouts my WR core is as good as any. Earl Bennet i have been hearing tons of sleeper talk, Cutler and him were teammates at Vandy could mean nothing or could mean the world. Not thrilled on the one two punch of Grant and Thomas Jones but... Grant is one of 5 backs with over 300 carries last year. With more and more two-back systems popping up a 300 carry back is becoming scarce. OH! and guess who had the EXACT same amount of Fantasy Points as ADRIAN PETERSON last year? Thomas Jones. Look it up. My two-headed monster doesn't sound too bad now does it? With TO in the BLO Whitten will be Romo's goto guy more than ever. Jeff is still dreaming it will be Roy Williams but we all know REDZONE = Witten. Ray Rice could have a Steve Slaton-esque breakout season this year and I can only hope one man surfaces as the man in Arizona hopefully Beanie breaks a leg. Thrilled to have the BEARS in the 13th round I think Ben took them in like the 4th a few years ago. haha. And all I know is that Kris Brown kicks alot of 50 yarders I dont know why I think that, does he? Will he? As in the Helmet threepeat? You all better hope not. If so you should be ashamed off yourselves and rename this league KELSOS BITCHES!
2) GREEN BOWL PACKERS - For all the bitching during the draft, and trust me nobody does it better than ButtNugget. He actually drafted a pretty solid team and if you ask me the autopick helped you out immensly. MJD & Westbrook could be the most deadly combo in the league IF Westbrook can stay on the field. I wouldn't wait to long before trading for Lesean McCoy though. Also like how you sniped Chester Taylor on Pederphile whether you meant to or not. Willis McGahee will be the first person cut from this team. Steve Smith, Santonio Holmes, and Lee Evans. I know they don't sound like a sexy trio, but all three could conceivably be #1 fantasy wideouts. Steve Smith will make up for Holmes and Evans tendency to be inconsistent and I think Lee could have a career year, but doesnt everybody? Why is Jake Delhomme still an NFL QB? I'd like Smith alot more if that wasn't his case. Not sure where you drafted him but If Chris Cooley can find the endzone more than once he could easily vault into the top 3 TE's quietly. His 111 targets and 83 receptions was 2nd to only Tony Gonzalez last year. Carson Palmer..this was the guy I was going to target if I didn't get Brady, Brees, or Peyton lets just say he's due, the guy has a pretty descent WR core to throw too and has done it before. You better get on Trent's bandwagon too if your gunna roll with him as your backup, quit sending me texts about how shitty he's doing every game. Giants D is always atop the league can't complain here. Not too bad seeing as how bad you were sweating the draft because you said you were unprepared. Seems like we have been division rivals every year also, I LOVE to HATE this team. Good Luck Sally.
3) TONIGHT THE RIOT - Kicked off the WR run early this year with Randall Moss. Nothing I can really say bad about the guy who was an integral part of Kelsos Helmet 08 Title run. All roads lead to Moss having a great year, just limit your expectations. Maybe the biggest ? in Fantasy Football is to project Brandon Marshalls numbers this year. It will be feast or famine, no average year here he makes your WR core elite or average. Moore and Walter are basically the same guy but Walter gets bonus points because he's white. White Wr's rule. Don Beebe, Wayne Chrebet, Brandon Stokley and now Kevin Walter. They should form a facebook group. Hard to fathom Steven Jackson dropping to 20! Could have worst O-Line in football though and has missed 4 games during the heart of the season each the last 2 years. I must not have gotten the memo on Pierre Thomas or I must be a sucker because for some reason I like Bush better, shit I might even like Deuce McCalister (does he even play?) better than Pierre, call me crazy. Knowshon if he's like any of these other backs, Olandis Gary, Mike Bell, Travis Henry, Selvin Young he'll be able to gain yards in that running scheme. Before AP came along it was kind of Taboo to draft rookie running backs. How's Forte, Slaton and Chris Johnson taste. Moreno could be picked next year where those guys were this year...1st round. Reports out of Riot training camp have word of an altercation during 7 on 7 drills. It seems Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre are at odds and fucking up team chemistry, there has even been talk of a rumoured fist fight but both parties refused to comment on the situation. Vincent "Don't call me your cousin Vinny" Shiancoe should thrive with Favre who we all know leans on his TE's quite a bit. Vincent had 7 Td's last season under the radar. Last but not least your tom foolery trade to get Gostkowski, made me chuckle when I looked at it. Didn't you get Thomas Jones, a top 5 back last year for the charges D? And yet it's my trades that get brought up all time. This team is my favorite to come out of the WEST divison.
4) BALCO LABS - A Pretty solid team here front to back, Peyton is as consistent and healthy as any QB hands down, potential to be a #1 Fantasy QB every year. I wanted to quit the draft after Andre didn't fall to me. Mark my words, he will be the #1 WR in 2009. Package 3rd year breakouts Ginn Jr and Gonzalez and you could have a trio. You should have kept Crayton though, I think he could have a better year than Ginn, Henderson is just a deep threat and nothing more. Your other Anthony Gonzalez, Tony, could just explode in Atlanta, that offense has been pretty deadly this preseason. Crabtree should be dropped in favor of anybody else, save him for next year. A PREMIER player at 3 positions (4 if you count the Ravens), is a good formula for success. Weakest spot on the team is your running back stable Barber and Lendale are goaline horses however and Jamal Lewis is still kicking for a bye week replacement. Will battle all season long in the West.
5) HYDRO HUSKIES - After two years of battling to the last week and falling just short of a playoff spot, The Huskies will get what they truly desrve this year and experience the smell of the post season. My favorite to com e out of the East division. Has an absolutley deadly trio in the backfield. Deangelo looks like he'll be getting more carries at least early on and showed last year he can smell the endzone, I am a huge Ladanian fan this year, I think he is going to bounce back into top 5 overall pick next year, he's gunna prove people wrong. A complete STEAL at pick 19! I have been quoted as saying Felix Jones will have more TD's than Marion Barber this year. Jones is a very dynamic back. Kurt Warner is the man we all know it, but I just don't believe he will stay healthy everyone says how old Favre is at 39 well Warner is 38. But Big Ben is as quality backup as you can get so you covered your bases Mr. Davis. Your WR's could be absolutley nasty or absolulley putrid. Who know's what TO will do, Eddie Royal should continue to build on last years succes especially if Marshalls woes continue. Holt is an ideal WR3 and it wasn't that long ago when he was a premier wideout. A change of scenery could do him well. Morgan and Gage both have upside but were still waiting for anything substantial from either. Trade Gage to Pederphile, he loves him. John Carlson is often targeted in seatle and is yet another up and coming TE, was on my target list. Billy Miller is better than Shockey though. Cowboys defense had the most sacks last year, just saying. I always thought Rackers would be the perfect wingman. Hydro Huskies hydro dog food bowl has been running low latlely...hopefully it won't mess with his fantasy production. Playoffs? Playoffs?
6) HOME FIELD DISADVANTAGE - After following up his championship season with back to back piss poor seasons, Home Field management looks like they could be turning things around. Another great RB tandem here, even though I'm not a fan of Michael Turner, who will not sniff 370 carries again this year. I have a bet with someone outside this league that Michael Turner will not be a top 10 fantasy RB in 2009, but until then I guess you have to label him a top option. So now if Turner is one of my least favorite backs, you make up for it huge having my favorite RB in the NFL to watch play, Brandon Jacobs on your team. Is almost a given for 100 yards and a TD every week he plays and punishes defenders on a weekly basis. Can't go wrong having that guy on your team. Mendenhall like I said before could end up with #1 back numbers. It won't be long before trade offers from Thurman start pouring in. Earnest Graham will not be useful this year. Gates is healed up and the model TE that you would want on a fantasy team, not a weak spot here. If I do see a weak spot it is the WR core. Colston will bounce back but Breaston might actually turn out to be your #2, Driver killed me in leagues last year and I have vowed to exile him from any of my teams until he retires. Cotchery is the guy in NY but I'm not sure how good that is. Percy Harvin could surprise if him and Favre connect but will be used more in the return game. Tony Romo lost 150 lbs this offseason. Get it? He should remain a top 5 QB and makes this team solid at yet another position. Romo does tend to fall off at the end of the year when you could need him most. Im predicting Disadvantages first playoff appearance since 2006.
7) PEDERPHILE - Pete, so I here your back at the cozy confines of Central Main. Did you get to clean up a nice Peggy Sharloo shit yet or do you save all those for Scottie? Lost in the championship game to one of the best, seems to fly under the radar most years and always has one of the top team names. Couldn't flub the 1st pick, Adrian looks in midseason form and paired next to Ronnie Brown, who at times last year ran like a wild cat will be as good RB duo as any in our league. Not much for RB depth though but AD AP allows for that. Rivers has and will continue to develop into a star, hands down Top 5 QB and could push Top 3. And if for some reason Rivers flops, Matt Ryan is blossoming himself. A rather Motley Crue at WR, hope Roddy White is the real deal because he's carrying it on his shoulders, Mason will catch balls, but so do you, across your chin. Santana Moss, Burleson, and Mushin Mohammad are god awful, maybe not Santana but he's VERY inconsistent and the other two shouldn't be on your roster. Dallas Clark will help out your sorry bunch but he's only one man. Kicked off the Defenses in about round 7 hope the Steelers were worth a solid WR that you could have used. Bironas is always a personal favortie kicker of mine. He has a BAFF Ring with THE HELMET. Adriiiiiiiiaaaaaaan!!! Won't get you to the playoffs this year Popsicle Peter.
8) BACK YARD BRAWLERS - Picking in front of Jeffy, I knew I'd have my chance to sting him on a few players, but honestly you got me your fair share of times also. Originally after the draft I fealt this team was going to be a contender, but after further review I'm not so sure. Will have to slay the dragon week 1 or start 2009 in the bucket. We went into the draft with similar draft strategies, WR Heavy. But you still failed to get even a 1 top 10 WR from last year. Reggie Wayne is solid but not your overwhleming star like an Andre or Calvin johnson. Ideally I went into the draft targeting Wayne as a WR#2 for me but WR's flew of the board at an alarming rate. Roy Williams and Vincent Jackson are walking hype machines, but they rarely have delivered. VJack has been a sleeper for as long as I can remember, it's time to break out or BUST! I would have been scared starting Matt Cassel week 1 now it's in the hands of Shaun Hill or Marck Dirty Sanchez...whatever you do STILL the Weakest QB squad in our league. Frank Gore is solid but don't wait on Glen Coffee, I'll give you until week 3 to grab him then i'm gunna pick him up just before Fat Frank goes down. Ward isn't much of a fantasy back this year in my book. See Cadilacc Williams here. Fred Jackson may just end up outpointing Lynch this year. Greg Olsen was my sleeper tight end if I didn't pounce on Whitten, I think he has a good upside. This team has no PREMIER players at any positions and that will be there downfall. No Playoffs for the Crawlers. Sad but true.
9) THURMAN IN HIS PRIME - Is this years Thurmans time to shine? Last year around week 2, I remember ZTrain saying that Forte will be a top five back next year, I think he may even have posted it on the message board, however I didn't buy it....Then. I am sold on him this year though and definetly like him in favor of other backs such as Deangelo Williams and Michael Turner this year. Probably could waited 2 or 3 more rounds to get Mcnabb but picking him there ensures you get him. Donovan is poised for a top 3 Fantasy QB season is my prediction, behind Brees and Brady. Running back #2 is VERY suspect. I have never been a Willie Parker supporter and am not going to start this year. Should have drafted Mendenhall, I think I was a year early on predicting his breakout season last year, this is his year. Donald brown could emerge but at the same time it's still Joesph Addai's show. Julius Jones, Jerious Norwood, and Leon Washington are all junk and borderline rosterable. Bowe will be your top wideout, and the connection with McNabb and Desean could prove to be a lethal combo. Too bad this cheap ass league doesn't give points to the PLAYER with the kick or punt return or he'd even have more value. Laverneous is a solid #3 but isn't the definition of consistency, plus rising superstar Chris Henry has caught a TD pass in every preseason game, just saying. Coles best days could be behind him. Dustin Keller will take a step back this year without Favre there, so TE is a big hole to fill in my opinion. Titans is a great defense to have. A strong bench is key to Fantasy, so why did you put the autopilot on after about round 7!
10) A FIGHTING CHANCE - For some reason Huffy never gets any love in the Rankings, no hard feelings bud. Chris Johnson and Portis is a very good 1,2, Johnson has had a rough preseason and Lendale White is still in the picture though. Benson may surprise you this year and become your #2 RB by years end. Schaub should thrive if healthy and Houston's offense has the potential to move into the elite of the NFL. Average WR core will bank on Jennings most weeks, name the last Seattle WR that has made a fantasy impact, Berrian has never been a guy I like, but that's just me, he is a nice #3 wideout to have I guess. Avery could be a little steal, as he came on big the last half of last season and takes over for departed Torry Holt. Owen Daniels was one of 5 TE's last year targeted 100 times, always a good sign. I see a strong possibility of this team moving up in the rankings as weeks go on.
11) RODGERS RAIDERS - This newcomer has yet to show his face on thje message boards so he gets no love in the rankings. Brady looks like he's back and there really is noone better at QB. Proably the worst running back stable in the league. Although McFadden could be a sleeper, Addai has fell a lot from the top 6 pick I took him with in 2007, and just how good can I guy feel about having the Bills 3rd string running back as his backup running back? Ok you dropped him but never even picked up a replacement. Get on it! And how about a message board post newbie? You Scrrrred? A below average running backs squad is paired with an average WR corps. Ochocinco has more bark that bite, and needs to start playing like the star he thinks he is. Hester has potential, but Heyward Bay and Chambers are pretty useless fanatsy options. Zack Miller must've needed to fill your Raider needs, but is yet another young up and coming TE, and will most likely be Oaklands #1 recieving threat. Definelty should loose one of your 2 Defences for some running back depth. I have some guys you may be interested in. No Playoffs for this team this year. Gotta scrape the rust off. Good luck with your second term in the BAFF, it's gotten cuthroat since 06'.
12) FEAR N LOATHING - Somebodies gotta be last and this year it's you Justin. A perennial playoff team may have to sit out a year. QB's are both proven men. Might end up starting Hasselback more often than Cutler when all is said and done. Kevin Smith, Slaton and, Larry Johnson could be a sleeper trio. Actually at a closer look this team shouldn't be ranked last. Fitzgerald is a PREMIER wideout paired with two of the more consistent WR in the leaguein Wleker and Hines is also a good trio. Antonio Bryant and Branch need to be upgraded though Kellen Wnslow needs a rejuvination but I don't know many TE's to thrive in Tampa Bay...ever. Don't worry Justin I'm sure Rodgers Raiders will reclaim this spot before to long. And do you work at Subway? Too cool to say what's up when you made my $5 footlong?
KELSOS HELMET 9-5
GREEN BOWL PACKERS 7-7
THURMAN IN HIS PRIME 7-6-1
BACK YARD BRAWLERS 7-6-1
HYDRO HUSKIES 8-6
A FIGHTING CHANCE 8-6
RODGERS RAIDERS 7-7
FEAR N LOATHING 6-8
BALCO LABS 10-4
TONIGHT THE RIOT 9-5
HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE 8-6