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Tag:Chicago White Sox
Posted on: October 20, 2011 10:28 pm
Edited on: November 6, 2011 9:18 am
 

D.P. Announces End Of Production Strike

D.P. Wire Report 10/20/11 6:34p.m.

The Disassociated Press is pleased to announce the end of it's production strike, causing last week's NFL Flop 10 poll to be missed, along with three other news articles that have unfortunately had to be scrubbed, including an in depth analysis of the recent pot calling the kettle black situation compliment paid to Norvell Turner by the Ryan coach who does not think his defense practices against 7 receivers better than Calvin Johnson (Rex for those of you who were lost at the word Norvell) by senior writer N. Formation.  We will shortly bring you the missing Week 5 NFL Flop 10 Poll followed by the riveting Week 6 NFL Flop 10 poll.  CEO of the Disassociated Press who will only go on record under the alias BuccinGator, had this to say.  "After reviewing the hacking scandal that engulfed News Corp and 'News of the World,' several members of our production staff became concerned over how we were able to get so many breaking stories, such as the dismissal of Joey Cora from the White Sox.  As such, we had to assure them that all of our information came from legal, credible sources such as the National Enquirer's website.  Only then did they agree to return to be able to bring you the breaking news stories you care about."  But, the strike was not without it's consequences.  D.P. reader The Muffin Man is quoted, "Yeah, I was POed.  Look, I base some of my NFL pool picks around who are the teams in the D.P. Flop 10, specifically, who not to choose.  Not having that critical information caused me to only get 10 correct, 2 less than the weekly winner.  Consider me a former D.P. reader."  In a completely unrelated story, senior D.P. editor Lindsay Lohan will unfortunately be taking some time off due to legal issues not stemming from our sources.

D.P. Archives:
10/6/11 Predictions of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
10/4/11 D.P. NFL Week 4 Flop 10 Poll
10/01/11 The 2011 MLB Disassociated Team of the Year Award
9/27/11 D.P. Week 3 NFL Flop 10 Poll
9/27/11 "@JoeyCora, you're fired! #pinkslip"
9/26/11 Gopher Engineering Students To Fix Things Again


Posted on: September 27, 2011 4:56 pm
Edited on: September 27, 2011 9:17 pm
 

'@JoeyCora, you're fired! #pinkslip'

D.P. Wire Report 9/27/11 4:21p.m.

News is rapidly spreading through the twitterverse that White Sox G.M. Kenny Williams fired interim manager Joey Cora via twitter before Cora could even manage his first MLB game.  This shockingly appalling way of letting someone know that they are relived of their duties is currently trending at #1,534 worldwide.  Cora expected something was amiss when Williams posted to his Facebook wall "Don't bother showing up to the ballpark tonight" moments before unfriending him.  The amazing thing is, Williams, who many lay the blame of the White Sox recent struggles rather than their coaching staff, is still Facebook friends with ousted skipper Ozzie Guillen, although that may soon be changing.  When reached for comment in Miami, Guillen offered, "He did what to Joey?  Fired him via (expletive) Twitter?!?  Why that piece of (expletive)!  I'm going to unfriend his sorry (expletive) as soon as I get off the phone with you.  Unfortunately, I don't have AT&T or I'd do it right now."  Cora, meanwhile in a retaliatory move, has taken Kenny Williams MySpace page off of his Top 8 Spaces.

D.P. Archives:
9/26/11 Gopher Engineering Students To Fix Things Again






 
 
 
 
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