Posted on: November 30, 2011 1:25 pm

Be My Valentine

The Top Ten Advantages of Bobby Valentine being the new Red Sox manager:

Bobby V...

  • Is well rested    (He hasn't coached in a few years)
  • Is conversant in archane languages like Bahsdinese   (from his time in Japan, Queens... and Texas)
  • Has experience with futility     (coached the Mets)
  • Understands practical disinfection methods    (Director of Public Safety & Health for the city of Stamford, Connecticut)
  • Is familiar with unlucky breaks     (suffered a multiple compound leg fracture)
  • Knows 1st hand about knuckleheads    (fired by George W. Bush)
  • Won't need to wear a bag over his head   (Was ejected for arguing a call and returned to the dugout an inning later in a disguise - a fake moustache. Unamused, MLB fined Valentine $5,000 and suspended him for three games.)
  • His karma can run over Josh Beckett's dogma    (was the subject of the ESPN Films documentary "The Zen of Bobby V.")
  • Will deep six the buckett of cluck   (He claims to have invented the Wrap sandwich)

But most fitting and importantly, he loves epic season ending collapses - and now they're in his genes:   (Valentine is married to the daughter of former Brooklyn Dodgers pitcher Ralph Branca)

Good times.

Category: MLB
Posted on: October 7, 2011 9:03 am

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Yanks lose game 5;  Season over;  ARod chokes, Tex , others.

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Arod, Swisher.  Others, too.  Lots of chances, zero clutch hits.  Heartless.  Team looked dull.  No fire, no drive, no wanting it.

e.g.:  up 3 balls no strikes, watch 2 cookies mid plate at the belt, K - null and void.

Time to find some hungry players.

Doesn't Benoit look like the Egyptian overseer who whipped slaves to build the pyramids?  Boil and all.
Ugliest goatee award.

Call Amman-Ra.

Burn the tannus leaves, it's officially a football season, and a boring ALCS.
Category: MLB
Tags: Arod, choke, Yankees
Posted on: September 30, 2011 9:40 am

In the end, Ohhhh - innuendo

Wk 26:  Down to the last strike... season ending.  Heartbreak only remains.

The incredibly improbable?  or the cruelest version of an old script?   Cursed fate rules.

New York Yankees  (96-61) --> (97-65)   wk 1-4
Tampa Bay Rays     (87-71) --> (91-71)   wk 4-0   6
Boston Red Sox       (88-69) --> (90-72)   wk 2-3   7
Toronto Blue Jays     (80-78) --> (81-81)   wk 1-3   16
Baltimore Orioles       (67-91) --> (69-93)   wk 2-2   28

2 outs, 2 strikes...  bottom of the 9th.  We've all played that in our backyards as kids.  The thrill of victory? ..or the agony of defeat.  Walk off win or slump off defeat.  

Wednesday night, it didn't just happen beyond all likelihood, it happened twice.  Rays down 7-0 in the 8th, a 9th inning HR to tie, an extra inning walk off winner.  The Red Sox up 3-2,   best closer on the mound, 2 strikes, 2 outs, ...then bang: 2 runs, game over, season over.

How improbable?

On Sept. 3rd, odds of Red Sox reaching the playoffs?  99.6 %
Odds of Red Sox winning Wed. in the 9th?  >>> 95.3 %
Odds of the Rays coming back from 7-0 in the 8th?  .3 % (99.7 against, 300 to 1)
Odds of a ninth inning hit by the Rays Johnson, 2 outs, 2 strikes?  BA was .108, 1 hit in 45 ABs with 2 strikes, a 2% chance)
Odds of a rain delay in Boston, allowing the Sox to watch the Rays unlikely comeback?  long and spooky.

Overall probability of all these things happening that night together?  One chance in 278 million.

Like flipping a coin and having it land edge on standing up.  Twilight zone odds.

But that doesn't add in the old destiny - the heartbreak that Boston knows all too well.  If the gods wrote the script, it would be as cruel as possible, as last minute as the 9th on the last day, as story book as 2 strikes, and as ironic as the last hope of a one game playoff saved is dashed 3 minutes later when the Rays pull off an impossible comeback.

Babe, Bucky, Buckner, Boone, Baltimore.

Category: MLB
Posted on: September 26, 2011 1:19 pm

Wrinkled Sox, Ray of hope

Week 25:   Wilted Sox, Ray of hope

Sox get X'd by O's, NY.  Yanks help by taking Rays.

New York Yankees  (91-59) --> (96-61)   wk 5-2  + sunday,  97-62
Boston Red Sox      (87-64) --> (88-69)   wk 1-5                     89-70
Tampa Bay Rays     (84-67) --> (87-71)   wk 3-4                     88-71  one back
Toronto Blue Jays    (76-75) --> (80-78)   wk 4-3
Baltimore Orioles    (62-88) --> (67-91)   wk 5-3

How has Sept. been?

               W     L
Yanks    16     9  +7
Rays      14   10  +4
Sox          6    18  -12

Boston holds a slim one game WC lead with 3 to play vs. the Orioles (who beat them 3 of 4 last week), while the Rays play the already clinched Yanks resting and prepping for Friday.


Category: MLB
Posted on: September 19, 2011 8:21 am

Wk 24:Sox wilt under hot Rays, help Yanks clinch.

Wk 24:  Sox wilt under hot Rays, help Yanks clinch.

Shades of April?  Sox droop in Sept under Rays, wild card at risk.  Boston fans are rooting for the Yanks (!) to slow Tampa.  But it's looking like a spectacle for their last series.  

as of sunday, 9/18/11:

New York Yankees   (87-57) --> (91-59)   wk 4-2 + sunday, 91-60
Boston Red Sox       (85-60) --> (87-64)   wk 2-4                   87-65   -4.5
Tampa Bay Rays      (80-64) --> (84-67)   wk 4-3                   85-67   -6.5, 2 back of WC
Toronto Blue Jays     (73-73) --> (76-75)   wk 3-2                   77-75
Baltimore Orioles     (58-86) --> (62-88)   wk 4-2                   62-89

In Sept:

Red Sox:    4-13
Yanks:      10-7
Rays:        11-6

Ironic the way things are working out.  Do the math:  Yanks have a magic # of 7 with 11 to play.

1 = Twins
2 = split with Rays
2 = split by Sox/Balt
Leaves 2 for the Boston/NY series...

So ONE win among those 3 games means the Yanks CLINCH at home in the big ballpark, with Mo's 602, having their good pals the Red Sox as company.  priceless.   What a nice gesture, I say.  Colorful backdrop, great photos, rest the last few games.

Imagine that.

Category: MLB
Posted on: September 12, 2011 9:03 am

Rays sweep, Yanks snoozed, Sox neatly folded

AL East, Week 23:       Rays sweep, Yanks snoozed, Sox neatly folded
New York Yankees  (84-53) --> (87-57)   wk 3-4
Boston Red Sox      (84-54) --> (85-60)   wk 1-6   3.5
Tampa Bay Rays     (75-63) --> (80-64)   wk 5-1    7   (3.5 back of WC)
Toronto Blue Jays    (69-70) --> (73-73)   wk 4-3   15
Baltimore Orioles     (55-82) --> (58-86)   wk 3-4   30

Bleached, Oxycleaned, folded with care, Lester is less, 16 to play?  Rays coming back for 4 in Fenway.  Youk's back isn't back, Bullpen messy, ...  oh snap.

Pitching futures drop like the market.  Fans talk Steelers, What weekend?  Turning to the Pats, forgetting the peanuts and crackerjacks.

Category: MLB
Tags: fold, Rays, Red Sox, Yanks
Posted on: August 15, 2011 9:59 am

Wk 19: One half game, short division.

Wk 19:   Who wants the Division?

Road trips next week or so - Sox hit less well there.  Both NY and Sox party with Royals (no Pippa, sadly), then NY plays with Twins >> Texas re-arRangers Sock drawer?  

Boston Red Sox      (73-45) --> (73-46)   wk 0-1
New York Yankees  (72-46) --> (72-46)   wk 0-0   1/2
Tampa Bay Rays     (64-55) --> (64-55)   wk 0-0    9
Toronto Blue Jays    (60-59) --> (61-59)   wk 1-0   12.5
Baltimore Orioles     (45-72) --> (46-72)   wk 1-0   26.5

Youk BA at .191 on the road?  ouch.  Let's hope the division race stays real.   ARod returns, Garcia stops doing kitchen prep, Will we see some B's in pen or maybe a DH callup?  Down to the wire - stop the dang rain.
Posted on: August 5, 2011 10:23 am

Wk: 18: Welcome back real baseball

Wk 18:  Let the games begin...

New York Yankees  (63-42) --> (68-42)   wk 5-0
Boston Red Sox       (65-40) --> (68-42)   wk 3-2  -  0
Tampa Bay Rays      (55-51) --> (58-52)   wk 3-1  - 10
Toronto Blue Jays     (54-53) --> (56-55)   wk 2-2  - 12.5
Baltimore Orioles      (42-62) --> (43-65)   wk 1-3  -  24

It is an altogether fitting and proper tie that is the backdrop for the 3 game show this weekend on the fine stage of Fenway.  Let the games begin.  However the pitchers rise to the occasion, Robbie Cano must be thrilled...  he loves hitting in those cozy confines big time - I think he is 400+ in 2010 and 500 this year.  366 career.

Real baseball is back.  Sit back, make sure you have your beverage and snacks, turn off the phone, log off, and marvel at Youk's hat size and Petey's vertically challenged accomplishments.  Look forward to Josh's so-close-to-the-surface temper flaring to surprise all but those in the know.  Does Colon get his 2 seamer tailing back over called as a strike? Does Garcia continue to amaze?  Can Lester be had?  Do we get the Lackey we all know and love?  Will NY ride CC all the way to the barn?  I do love Francona - the guy is a class act.  

Share and enjoy.

Category: MLB
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or