Posted on: January 27, 2010 1:28 pm
Edited on: January 27, 2010 1:47 pm

Super Bowl Now Has FIne Art on The Line

While we wait to hear the announcement of the requisite mayoral Super Bowl bet where the New Orleans mayor wagers a crate of gumbo and the Indianapolis mayor wagers.... um.... white basketball players?.... There's this interesting story via Hashmarks: It seems that the directors of art museums in Indianapolis and New Orleans are working on a Super Bowl wager of their own. 

They're betting pieces of art!

It seems as if they've been haggling back and forth about the exact pieces to put on the line, but it's sounds wonderfully pretentious.

N.O. Museum Guy: Say there good fellow, do you care to go for a scrape between our two football organizations?

Indy Museum Guy: Why yes I do. I'm willing to wager this Monet that my Colts of Indianapolis shall throttle your Saints of New Orleans!

N.O. Museum Guy: My word! And I shall wager this fine Renoir piece that my Saints will trounce your Colts! 

Indy Museum Guy: Nay! I believe we shall indeed rupture your pomposity!

What? All museum curators talk like early-1900 Englishmen. I should know. I am a man of learning and culture!*

*eagerly anticipates the news of when the cast of Jersey shore will end their holdout

Category: NFL
Posted on: January 27, 2010 11:34 am
Edited on: January 27, 2010 3:24 pm

This Year's Super Bowl Ads Promise to Not Suck

A lot of people say they only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. And while us die-hard football fans who like to watch the game for the, you know, game, would very much like to beat those people with a sack full of belt buckles, they do have a point. Super Bowl ads are part of the whole shebang. Problem is, they've been pretty lame lately.

Look! Danica Patrick is fighting a girl with giant breasts! Now go build your own website dammit! 

Look! That guy got hit in the crotch with a snow globe! People getting hit in the crotch is comedy gold, you see. What was that an ad for?

Look! That Clydesdale just fetched a tree trunk to out do a dog because horses are better than dogs!! Haha you suck, dogs!! Wait. Whaaa?

Meh, you get the point.

Anyway, Anheuser-Busch is saying no mas! to lame un-funny, un-original Super Bowl ads this year:

But most of the likely spots tend toward the outlandish: Townspeople form a human bridge when the real one is out to assure safe delivery of Budweiser. In another, men talking on the phone in Auto-Tune — a pop-music effect that can make voices sound robotic — are excited they have Bud Light to "make the party right." And there's the requisite TV reference: People stranded on an island happily drink Bud Light in a nod to hit show "Lost."
Guess we'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out on February 7. Odds are there will be a few chuckles here and there that'll have us all talking at the water cooler on Monday. And others that probably won't garner any talk at all.

*ducks and covers under desk*
Category: NFL
Posted on: January 27, 2010 9:37 am
Edited on: January 27, 2010 3:23 pm

Saints Fans Are Buying All the Hotel Rooms

Yesterday we linked to a story about Saints fans buying all the newspapers in New Orleans. Today, those menaces are at it again, because now they're buying all the hotel rooms in Miami. 

The Miami Herald tells us that Saints fans are booking hotel rooms in droves, while Colts fans are not so much. How do hotel managers and owners know this? ACCENTS!

"The callers we're getting all have Cajun accents,'' said Robert Finvarb, who owns four Marriott hotels in Broward and Miami-Dade. ``Indianapolis is a dog for Super Bowl."
Aside from being a hotel owner, Robert Finvarb must be some kind of genius detective because he figured all this out via the accent of his potential guests.

But Ralph Abravaya, owner of the Cavalier Hotel in Miami Beach, is corroborating Finvarb's claims that this will be a mostly-Saints fan crowd. Abravaya's proof is based on experience, as well as the knowledge that Colts fans just don't seem to give a crap.

"Last time we had the Super Bowl, I had one Indianapolis fan for every 10 Chicago fans," said Ralph Abravaya, owner of the Cavalier Hotel in South Beach. ``I had a heckuva crowd at the restaurant [for the 2007 Super Bowl] and only one table had Indianapolis fans."
But the overall booking of rooms for Super Bowl weekend seems to be a slow-go this year. Some might blame the troubling economic times. Others might blame the fact that Miami hotel rooms go for $1,000 a night. Overall, however, hotel owners like Abravaya are willing to lower their prices.

[Abravaya's] hoping fan interest will pick up as Super Bowl approaches. ``New Orleans might surprise me,'' he said. ``Indianapolis will not.''
So to recap: hotel rooms in Miami are not selling as fast as their owners would like, Saints fans all have Cajun accents, and Colts fans can go suck it. The end.
Category: NFL
Posted on: January 26, 2010 5:35 pm
Edited on: January 27, 2010 3:22 pm

Halftime Playlist REVEALED!

The Super Bowl halftime performers have revealed their playlist. And by “performers,” we mean The Who. And by “The Who” we mean Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey and a bunch of other dudes not named John Entwhistle (or Keith Moon for that matter). 

And, according to what Townshend tells, the band is expected to continue the long storied tradition of performing mashed up medleys that have made Super Bowl halftime performances so wonderfully *not-so-memorable: 

"A bit of 'Baba O'Riley,' a bit of 'Pinball Wizard,' a bit of the close of 'Tommy,' a bit of 'Who Are You,' and a bit of 'Won't Get Fooled Again.' It works -- it's quite a saga. A lot of the stuff that we do has that kind of celebratory vibe about it -- we've always tried to make music that allows the audience to go a bit wild if they want to. Hopefully it will hit the spot."
Hey, look at that. Who Are You. Will be performed. On CBS. No word if David Caruso will make an appearance on the stage and dramatically take off his shades at the end of the song. But that would be pretty badass. Did I just plug a CBS show on this site? Why yes. Yes I did. And I’m not even asking for a bonus or nothing. Honest. 

*seriously, I defy you to remember any of the last 10 half time performances. Except maybe the Super Bowl XXXVI post-9/11 U2 performance. What? You don’t remember that one either? You commie!
Posted on: January 26, 2010 4:42 pm
Edited on: January 27, 2010 3:21 pm

Bill Polian Is Not a Fan of the Pro Bowl

So it appears that this whole Let's Play The Pro Bowl The Week Before The Super Bowl thing was not such a hot idea after all. First, there will be no Colts or Saints because they have a slightly more important game to worry about. Then, the roster changed about 947 times in the last week (David Garrard is now in the Pro Bowl. David Garrard!!). Now Colts GM Bill Polian has come out and publicly proclaimed the whole thing "stupid."

Polian appeared on 1070 The Fan with Dan Dakich and went all Old Man Yells At Cloud on the Pro Bowl. His main beef is that, even though they won't actually be playing in the game, Colts players that were selected to it still have to show up. 

"If it weren't for the Pro Bowl disruption, they would have the weekend off, but they can't because we have to send those players to Miami to do Lord knows what," Polian added. "We'll come back and practice on Sunday and the Pro Bowl players will go and do whatever they have to do and then the team will leave on Monday."
Polian is worried that his players traveling separate from everyone else will be a distraction to the team. And he's still unsure if the NFL will fly them back to Indianapolis, or if they'll just stay in Miami and wait for the team to arrive. In other words he's saying, "Players left to their own devices in Miami without team supervision??? Holy nutsacks!"

I live in the Miami area, and I can tell you that everything you've heard or read about South Beach and the nightlife and its many temptations is blown out of proportion. There's nothing to worry about. These players will be just fine. And by all that I of course mean they're totally screwed. 

(link & quotes via PFT)
Category: NFL
Posted on: January 26, 2010 3:56 pm
Edited on: January 26, 2010 3:58 pm

New Orleans May Have Saved The Newspaper Industry

The New Orleans Times-Picayune reported yesterday on their website that their hardcopy issues commemorating the Saints' NFC championship victory were completely sold out. Anticipating this, they printed more copies than usual. And they still sold out.

To make up for it, the paper printed up more copies to distribute at their offices Tuesday morning. And it still wasn't enough. Lines were so long that law enforcement had to show up to direct traffic. 

Kudos to the city of New Orleans and their passion. 

Most blame the newspaper industry's collapse on the Internet and the instant-24 hour news cycle that it brings, and the fact that every home with access to the net is another nail in its coffin. But that's just bogus, man. I have internet access. And just this past weekend, I was about to go and buy myself a newspaper from the stand around the corner. But my foot fell asleep so I stayed home and watched a Monk marathon on USA Network instead.
Posted on: January 26, 2010 2:39 pm
Edited on: January 26, 2010 2:44 pm

Peyton Manning is Immune To Your Baby's Powers

Peyton Manning is in the Super Bowl again after ending the Jets' Cinderella playoff run last Sunday.

So, turns out this kid and his crazy-ass father naming him J.E.T.S. won't be bringing an end to New York's 41-year Super Bowl drought after all.

What will it bring?

Mostly ceaseless mocking and roughly a dozen beatings a day from friends and strangers alike for the rest of this kid’s life until he inevitably develops a meth habit. Or declares himself a Giants fan.

(hat tip to The Sports Hernia)

Posted on: January 26, 2010 1:12 pm
Edited on: January 26, 2010 1:32 pm

Super Bowl XLIV Is Set...

....get ready for a crapload of storylines and puff pieces!

Thaaaat's right. Super Bowl XLIV in Miami is all set. And fans of Rachel Nichols and golden-hued lighting everywhere can rejoice! What with a whole 12 days to go before the big game, the media has a lot of time to cover the heaps of stories-behind-the-stories-behind-t
he-stories that are sure to captivate and enthrall America -- nay! The world!

There is, of course, the entire city of New Orleans and everything it's been through since Katrina. It's a pretty great story, actually. A city ravished by a monstrous hurricane, rising from the darkness and rebuilding not only its devastated city structures but its identity as well. Even the President is rooting for the Saints for this very reason. And it will remain a great story until the endless vignettes featuring Harry Connick Jr. driving around town with Sean Peyton riding shotgun drives it straight into the ground.

There's also Archie Manning and his burdensome dilemma. Should he root for the his team? Should he root for his son's team? On one hand, Peyton Manning is his son. On the other, Archie played for the Saints, lives in New Orleans, and has been a long-suffering Saints fan. But, hey, Peyton's already won a Super Bowl. So the Saints it is! Suck on that, son! Oh wait. He's already claimed he's rooting for Peyton .

Regardless of this piece of news, you should still expect to hear about Archie's non-existent dilemma all the way up to kickoff, and even during the broadcast itself.

Other stories we'll surely be bombarded with:
  • Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian 
  • Drew Brees returns to Miami after the Miami Dolphins rejected him -- twice!
  • Jim Caldwell is black! And he's coaching in the Super Bowl!
  • Both the Colts and the Saints almost went undefeated! But didn't!
  • Will Brett Favre really retire? C'mon you didn't think him not being there would keep this story down, did you?
  • Peyton Manning's second trip to the Super Bowl is in Miami, the same city where he won his first Super Bowl. Coincidences are fun!
  • Peyton Manning is from New Orleans! No, really!
  • Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or