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Tag:Rick Pitino jokes
Posted on: March 11, 2010 12:23 am
Edited on: March 11, 2010 12:33 am
 

Bearcats serve blow to Louisville's seed

Thomas Beisner

12:00 AM


Twenty-three of Rick Pitino’s former players and assistants have gone on to hold their own NCAA head coaching jobs. Some have won national titles and some have flamed out. Only Mick Cronin, though, has shown up in a pink shirt and tie and made his former teacher pay under the watchful eye of Nick Lachey.

The Cards came out firing early in this first round matchup and had the feel of a mid-90s Pitino team, forcing turnovers and riding the hot shooting of a Delk (this time it was Reginald). But, despite Louisville’s best efforts, the Bearcats proved to be more persistent than Karen Sypher and just would not go away, ultimately outscoring Pitino’s troops by 12 in the second half.

In that period, the Bearcats looked like an old Bob Huggins edition in kicking Louisville’s tail on the boards to the tune of a 46-29 advantage. Yancy Gates led the way with 16 points off the bench and Darnell Wilks and Lance “Born Ready For Another Year of School” Stephenson both added 12, but the Bearcats shot only 34% from the field and 22% from the three-point line. By comparison, Louisville shot 44% from the field and 10-18 (56%) from downtown. That’s not how things usually work.

After the game, in typical Rick Pitino fashion, the Cards’ head man went into meltdown mode when asked about his team’s performance and berated Murray Rubin of the Hackensack Daily News for asking that sort of question on the day Nene’s son was arrested. Things then got even uglier later when Pitino’s ego climbed the Empire State Building and had to be shot down by the National Guard, though Louisville AD Tom Jurich advised everything was under control because Vinny Tatum was laying on the ground keeping an eye on him.

For Pitino’s team, an NCAA berth still seems likely. Where they get seeded, however, will most likely not be where many Louisville fans hoped it would be after entering the tournament with the momentum of beating Syracuse. But, this headline will be on the New York Daily News and not the New York Post, so that’s a positive.

For Cincinnati, they’ll keep their faint NCAA hopes alive on Thursday against former coach Bob Huggins and Mick Cronin will hopefully make a wardrobe change that keeps him from looking like a fleshy earthworm for the second game in a row.

*It should be noted that Montana's Anthony Johnson just scored again

Posted on: February 21, 2010 12:53 am
Edited on: March 9, 2010 8:44 pm
 

Destination Scouting Report: East Lansing, Mich.

Each morning, the CBS College Basketball Road Trip team will stop spooning each other in their Motel Six beds at the crack of noon, grab a couple of NCAA approved bagels and hit the road in pursuit of their next college basketball destination.  Though their dossier and agenda are to supposed to remain top secret, I went to high school with one of the writers from "Viva Laughlin" and CBS forgot to take back his keys.  Here is what he found…

By:  Thomas Beisner

12:30 AM



Location:
The story of how East Lansing came to be has the sexiness of Susan Boyle and the entertainment value of Riding the Bus with My Sister. So, for the purposes of this, let’s just pretend that many believe that East Lansing just appeared one day, while others argue the city evolved from monkeys. Both sides, however, agree that it’s in Michigan.  (I hope my vague reference to the Big Bang Theory makes up for the Viva Laughlin jokes...have I mentioned how much I love CBS?).

Traveling Distance: Unshaken by the Iowa blizzard and the audible that landed them at DePaul, our road warriors have just over 200 miles between themselves and the center of Big 10 basketball. In real time, that’s about three hours. In “this is the fourth destination of this road trip” time, that’s miserable. On the positive side, they’ll at least have time to discuss if Louisville fans tucked Black and Milds in their ears for fashion or for function.

Historical Relevance: Michigan State students pack an area of the Breslin Center called the Izzone and the Spartan program can boast of Magic Johnson and The Flintstones. Ohio State, meanwhile, gave the world 1960 National Champion Bobby Knight and the “O-H, I-O” chant, a duo more hateable than Spencer and RoboHeidi.

Boarding School: The Spartans have never been afraid to unleash a football player on your power forward or throw an awkwardly physical white guy on the floor in an effort to grab a rebound (Duke point guard and Michigan State center have to be the whitest position of the last decade, right?). This team is no different - and it could spell doom for the Buckeyes, especially on the offensive end. Michigan State has over 100 more offensive rebounds this season than the Buckeyes and will look to beat them up inside. Can we tag those last seven words under “Rick Pitino jokes”?

Grudge Factor: I’m sure these teams hate each other, but not as much as I hate them. It all stems from the 1999 Final Four. I was there and my beloved Kentucky Wildcats were not, thanks to Michigan State. Ohio State was apparently not there at all thanks to Jim O’Brien. What we were left with was Khalid El-Amin’s beer gut winning a national title and Jake Voskuhl’s hair permanently placed in the record books. These schools must accept at least a little blame for this.

Famous Alumni: For Ohio State, Greg Oden’s genitalia probably has the highest Google ranking, but I don’t think it graduated. But, as far as true alumni go, Ohio State can be proud of Tomlin and Drew’s favorite writers (Bruce Vilanch and R.L. Stine) and Matt’s favorite basket-weaver (Tami Longaberger). Michigan State, meanwhile, earns bragging rights over James Caan, professional junkie Tom Sizemore and lover of the Charles Manson joke, Jemele Hill.

Agenda: While the goal is likely to see how good Evan Turner is and if he has anything up his sleeve the day after John Wall improved his National Player of the Year stock, that’s probably not what will happen. I foresee trouble in reigning in Matt while in the same building as his man crush, Tom Izzo, and Drew disappearing once he finds out Michigan State has the largest “study abroad” program in the United States (abroad is one word, Drew).

East Lansing, let‘s do this.
Posted on: February 19, 2010 1:04 pm
Edited on: March 9, 2010 8:46 pm
 

Destination Scouting Report: Cedar Falls, Iowa

By: Thomas Beisner

1:00 PM

Each morning, the CBS College Basketball Road Trip team will stop spooning each other in their Motel Six beds at the crack of noon, grab a couple of NCAA approved bagels and hit the road in pursuit of their next college basketball destination.  Though their dossier and agenda are to supposed to remain top secret, I went to high school with one of the writers from "Viva Laughlin" and CBS forgot to take back his keys.  Here is what he found…

 

Location:  According to Wikipedia, Cedar Falls, the home of Northern Iowa University, was originally named Sturgis Falls after William Sturgis, a sea-faring American hero from the 18th century.  It was renamed Cedar Falls later due to its close proximity to the Cedar River.  If these standards applied today, tonight’s game would be in Cracker Barrel Falls, Iowa.  (Confession:  Research shows there is not a Cracker Barrel within 100 miles of UNI…how is that possible?)

Traveling Distance:  Today our road warriors embark on a leg of the trip that is so short, Lorenzo Romar might recruit it to play point guard.  Traveling an estimated 271 miles in about 4 and half hours, the fiercest foe will not be the road, but the lingering Milwaukee hangover and Matt’s Jason Mraz playlist.

Mascot:  The Panther.  When I originally typed this, I accidentally wrote “Panter”, which of course is not the mascot.  That’s a contact in Rick Pitino’s black book.

School Colors:  Mostly white.  For this game, however, they'll be really white.

Forecast:  Despite the local weatherman's best efforts to heat things up with a little innuendo, it’s going to be cold.  Like sleeping with your best friend’s girl on the day his dog died and his parents split cold.  The temperature calls for a high of 29 degrees and, with two of the nation’s top-3 scoring defenses battling inside, the shooting might be just as icy. Both teams allow only 55 points per game (UNI: 55.1, ODU:  55.8) and aren’t too shy about shooting the three (UNI: 18 per game, ODU: 15).  However, rain is not expected in the forecast.  At least not from Old Dominion, who shoots 30% from downtown.  (That paragraph is dripping in more cheese than Milwaukee was, sorry.)

Notable Alumni:  Northern Iowa’s alumni list is littered with former football players including former NFL MVPs Kurt Warner and Bryce Paup, making them one of only two schools to have both a defensive and offensive MVP as an alum.  On the Old Dominion side, things are a little more eclectic as the Monarchs boast headband pioneer Chris Gatling, a Watergate burglar and the host of Cash Cab.  If we were awarding points for flat tops, UNI would be the runaway winner.  This is purely based on cultural impact, though, and the non-conference bragging rights go to Old Dominion.

Agenda:  Besides not freezing to death, the agenda is simple.  Soak up everything that is Northern Iowa University and get a first-hand look at two of the best mid-major (is that a dirty word in Cedar Falls?) teams in the country.  If seeing these teams up close helps us earn a couple extra bucks in the office pool in March, then so be it.  And if Drew tracks down this fellow CBSer and former UNI student, we'll apologize later.  Just don't blame it on the Viva Laughlin guy.  He's been through enough.

Cedar Falls, Iowa, let’s do this.

 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com