Tag:GivinEmTheBusiness
Posted on: September 8, 2010 2:42 pm
Edited on: September 8, 2010 2:48 pm
 

Givin' Em the Business: Preseason Edition

Posted by Will Brinson

Givin Em the Business recognizes all the people that annoyed us from the week that was in football. Feel free to provide nominations either in the comments or by yelling at us on Twitter (@CBSSportsNFL) .


Rank Who Why

1

Albert Haynesworth
If Haynesworth's offseason performance were judged on the same merits that we judge actual play on the actual football field, he would absolutely justify his $100 million salary. Instead, he's simply the most obnoxious figure in the NFL since we last left real football. Think about: he gets paid 9 (NINE!) figures and yet he still whined about the fact that he had to change positions in a new defense, he still couldn't pass a physical that every other TV reporter in the D.C. area could and he even tried to pretend like he was sick of the 'B.S.' and just wanted to play football. To top it all off: he's still  on the trading block. 

2

Brett Favre
Were we to do a retroactive "Givin' 'Em the Business" column for the past five or so offseasons, Favre would probably rank No. 1 every time. He managed to lock the entire world in for a full day of rehashing "Favre's Greatest Hits" even when he didn't retire, he made us watch helicopter cams follow an SUV down the highway O.J. Simpson style, and he forced several of his teammates to travel from Minnesota to Mississippi just to get a commitment from him. In fact, it's a testament to just how horrible Haynesworth has been that Favre, even though he forced us to suffer yet another wishy-washy media nightmare this season, somehow didn't win this "award."

3

Darrelle Revis
Somehow, someway, Revis managed to eclipse all the crap that the Jets have produced during the offseason (and it's a lot) en route to holding out up until the very last minute for a deal that wasn't really what he wanted. Look, I get that as a young superstar someone would want to get paid now and not worry about injury derailing a serious boatload of cash from being delivered to his house, but you signed a contract when you became a working professional/adult. Deal with it like you were one.

4

T.Ocho
Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco have complained recently that they don't get fair treatment from the media, because they're vilified even though they've done nothing wrong. That's actually a very salient point, but that doesn't excuse the two of them having three reality television shows between them. The Versus one, which will debut in October, actually might end up being awesome, but at that point in time, we'll have seen enough insanity flowing out Cincinnati that it's all but certain the whole "zany wideout" thing will be played out. And if the Bengals are actually winning, it'll only get worse. On the bright side, we're less than a week away from one of them getting fined for a hysterical touchdown celebration. 

5

Looming Lockout
Really, this should be first overall: remember that we're discussing a large group of really rich men fighting with a smaller group of even richer men about who will be getting more richer in the future. All of this comes directly from the pocket of the fan, and if the lockout happens (as it certainly appears it will), the only people that will be really  harmed are fans. And that's fairly criminal. The only good news is that it seems pretty likely (at least I think so) that this could end like Revis' deal where we see a last-minute cave. Unfortunately, that will probably mean no preseason.

6

Tony Dungy
Yup, that's right. I'm gonna be the guy ripping Tony Dungy, who just happens to seem like one of the nicest human beings on the planet. My beef? Him sticking his nose where it doesn't necessarily belong. Look, it's swell that he's an "ambassador" for the league and everything, but that doesn't mean that every single one of his beliefs are correct. For instance, if Rex Ryan wants to tell his players to get a &#%$%$ snack on their $%$^ing time away from the field, in my opinion he can sure as $%^@ do so.

7

Tim Tebow
My reaction to Tebow is quite similar to my reaction to the preseason: "I don't hate it, but, MAN, does it get old quickly." Tebow was all we talked about this offseason in terms of rookies, even though he pretty clearly won't be the "guy" in Denver for some time. I'm actually optimistic that he'll eventually be good, but that doesn't mean I want to sit in the stands in Jacksonville on Sunday amid a ton of people wearing Gator jerseys while they (as Andy pointed out) wonder when Tebow will get in the dang game!   

8

Matt Leinart
Honestly, Leinart's situation is more humorous than anything else. Imagine being really bad at your job (and overpaid, to boot) and then imagine walking into your boss' office and demanding that you -- yes, you of the awful performance thus far in multiple years on the job -- get a promotion. Your boss would laugh in your face and probably fire you. Oh, wait. That's what the Cardinals did with Leinart. 

9

The Jets
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Jets are kind of on here twice. I wasn't going to include them as a team (mainly because "Hard Knocks" has been so freaking awesome) until Antonio Cromartie decided the Jets were the "Miami Heat of football." And Mark Sanchez (who's like totally my podcast BFF) decided to add that they're building a "dream team." Come on, people. Look, their coach is brash, angry, loud and hysterical. And he inspires confidence. That's swell. But this team shouldn't have even made the playoffs last year! DO NOT CROWN THEM. THEY WILL BE WHO WE DID NOT REALIZE THAT THEY WOULD BE. Or something.

10

Vincent Jackson
And by extension, "holdouts in general," although that kind of got covered in Revis' section. Basically, this is annoying because I'm a Philip Rivers fan and there's nothing more annoying than seeing him possibly lose a huge window to make a run at a title because the CBA got blown up, Jackson lost some time in free agency, the Chargers decided to play hardball, and then even maybe/possibly refuse to trade him. It's impossible to find one side where you can say "alright, this is absolutely so-and-so's fault" because both sides have a reasonable case to be made, but seeing every single contract and holdout and discussion of anything football-related circle back to the fact that it might be gone in a year makes me want to pull a Spewell on someone. On the bright side, it's here now!
 
 
 
 
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