Tag:Ohio River
Posted on: March 12, 2011 11:23 am

Collinsworth on board float-away restaurant in KY

Posted by Will Brinson

Some crazy stuff happened on Friday in the NFL world. But the news that Cris Collinsworth was one of the 83 patrons onboard a float-away restaurant in Kentucky is just freaking odd.

No, there's not a typo there -- Jeff Ruby's Waterfront restaurant, which normally floats on top of the Ohio River while being moored to land, broke free from whatever wasn't holding it well enough and took off down the Ohio. And Collinsworth was on board. And yes, he's (apparently) safe.

"Luckily the people on the boat called," Covington Fire Department Capt. Chris Kiely said.

Indeed. Because, you know, being on a restaurant that's floating down a freaking river and not calling for help means that either a) everyone's already doomed or b) it's full of zombies. And neither of those options are really good.

The patrons were also helped by the fact that the restaurant became "wedged against the Clay Wade Bailey Bridge" (great name, by the by) and therefore didn't travel even further down the Ohio.

There's yet to be any confirmation of this modern day, culinary version of a Twain tale from Collinsworth's side, and because we're far enough out from the football season, there might not be. But at some point he's going to have to tell his side of the story, and if I have to guess, it'll sound something like whenever passengers think a plane is going down but everything ends up being just fine.

Only with more gravy.

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