Tag:Maria Sharapova
Posted on: October 22, 2010 9:43 am
 

Vujacic, Sharapova, and the Apocalypse

Sasha Vujacic gets engaged to Maria Sharapova, pulls world one-step closer to end of existence. Posted by Matt Moore

Internet, can we talk? Man-to-Information-Super-Highway? Here, sit down. I get that from time to time, you become pre-occupied with inane content of this world. Celebrity divorces. Balloon boys. Ke$ha. And that's cool! I like sports! And sports doesn't mean anything in this world, despite its quite considerable impact on our economy and way of life in this country. It's still just a meaningless distraction and in fact doesn't actually impact anything, not to mention the fact that most important events are replaced by new ones within a few months. I'm not here to judge.

But.

Sasha Vujacic is the No.1 trending topic on Google this morning. Maria Sharapova is No.3. All because they got engaged last night . That's how much power this story has. They're not even married. Just engaged.

Internet, what do you have to say for yourself? Honestly. It's not just that Vujacic isn't important, it's that he's massively irrelevant. The list of wing backup players that could do his job and do it better is long enough for me to write in Times New Roman single-spaced and still have a line break. His biggest talent is picking up meaningless, harmful fouls due to his penchant for attempting a full-court press in the NBA against top-flight point guards, then being shocked when they make him look like a chump. That's his calling card. Well, that and being"The Machine ."

Sharapova is actually the more relevant of the two of them, and she's ranked 18th in the world . So someone in sports who is not even top ten at the moment is the third most popular Google topic because she got engaged to someone who is somehow even more irrelevant in his profession. You made this happen, Internet. You. That's right, push away from the keyboard. Maybe go for a walk. Take some photos. Sing a song. I recommend "All-Star" by Smashmouth .

Whatever you do, do not use search engines. Because you have shown you cannot handle the responsibility. This isn't "Baby Birdman ." But it's close, world. I'm two seconds away from moving to a cabin in Colorado, stocking up on guns and canned food and forgetting you completely.

What? What do you mean this post was only written to cash in on that SEO power? What do you think I am, unscrupulous?

Okay, don't answer that.
Posted on: October 22, 2010 9:21 am
 

Shootaround 10.22.10: Engaged

Sasha Vujacic gets engaged to Maria Sharapova, the Bulls need to get engaged with one another off the floor, Mike Miller is disengaged for several weeks, and Dwight Howard is engaged on the microphone, all in today's Shootaround.
Posted by Matt Moore


Remember that thumb injury for Mike Miller we shared with you yesterday? Yeah. So, Brian Windhorst is reporting that it's going to be "several weeks" on that . The new Era d' Heat is starting off swimmingly. All they need is an outbreak of cholera and a bus accident.

May the Fates bless you in your travels, Darius Miles. Miles was cut from the Bobcats yesterday , in what could be the nail in the coffin on his "career." Pay attention, Blake Griffin. This is what happens to Clippers.

Sam Amico of NBA.com and FSN Ohio says the Blazers, Rockets, and Spurs, but especially Blazers, are also interested in Anderson Varejao. We continue to be perplexed as to why .

Martell Webster will have an MRI on his back and miss the Wolves' preseason finale. The Wolves will just have to turn to the other 700 wings they picked up in the offseason.

Dwight Howard told the Orlando Sentinel that a lot of NBA stars get the kinds of Tweets LeBron freaked out about . “All of us get those kinds of Tweets,” Howard said. “People just feel that they can say whatever they want to say to us, and I don’t respond. People are going to talk when they’re hiding behind a computer or a cell phone. What’s the purpose of letting that affect what we do?” Anyone else get the impression Howard's got a serious beef with everything LeBron does? He's one of the few guys to call out James on things. He's more vocal than Boston. Oh, and Heat play Orlando in a preseason game tonight.

The Bulls' chemistry isn't really so much where it needs to be , via the Chicago Tribune talking to Derrick Rose: ""I wouldn't say it's all the way there," Derrick Rose said. "But being on the court with the guys, I definitely know what their strengths are, where to give them the ball in certain situations, just the way they play."At practices, our second team beat (the starters) four or five days in a row. That competing will make us better and help the team gel quickly." It's interesting to hear that, but part of that is probably the disconnect with the departures of players who were closer last year. Something to watch as the Bulls go forward.

So here's the Flex offense . No, seriously, here's the Flex offense.

Sasha Vujacic is now engaged to Maria Sharapova, in case you needed further proof the universe is cruel and unfair.

Ron Artest has been given a "Year in Sanity" award by Salon.com. So if the apocalypse shows up soon, don't say we didn't warn you.

Hear Dwight Howard. Hear Dwight Howard sing. Hear Dwight Howard sing "All-Star" by Smashmouth .
 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com