Tag:stupid news
Posted on: November 17, 2011 9:43 am

Shaq denied at club for looking shabby

By Matt Moore 

TMZ reports that Shaq showed up at a club looking like all ragged and the club wouldn't let him in. 
TMZ has learned ... Shaq rolled up to nightclub/restaurant Mars 2112 on Saturday night wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, tennis shoes and a beanie (pictured above with random fan).

But according to the club promoter, Mike Mogul, Shaq's attire wasn't up to club standards ... so security politely informed the retired NBA star that he would not be allowed inside.

Sources at the club tell us Shaq calmly replied, "Are you serious?" ... then shrugged his shoulders and walked down the street to another place that welcomed The Diesel with open arms.
via Shaquille O'Neal REJECTED from Nightclub -- You're Dressed Like a Schlub!!! | TMZ.com.

My question is who had the fortitude to tell Shaquille freaking O'Neal he couldn't come in? How big was this bouncer? Good news is that O'Neal didn't pull the "Do you know who I am?" because that would just be stupid in his case. Not like you can mistake Shaq for someone else. Also... going out in public at night in jeans, a sweatshirt, tennis shoes, and a beanie... so Shaq's a blogger. That's what you're telling me.

So many questions. Did O'Neal not have better clothes with him? Did he just not feel like it? Is this some sort of new style no one knows about? Is it like Derelicte from Zoolander? How did the bouncers stop him, exactly? Did they set up some sort of barrier using sandbags when they saw him coming? I've met some insanely tough bouncers before, but, I mean, it's Shaq. I'm surprised they didn't have to call in artillery.

Good thing no one called Kobe when this happened. He would have rushed across the country just to go into the nightclub wearing boxers and a flamingo pink smoking jacket just to prove he could one-up Shaq.

OK, I think I'm done.  
Posted on: November 1, 2011 9:25 am

Kris Humphries gets nothing in Kardashian divorce

By Matt Moore

If you were thinking Kris Humphries walks away with some big fortune after his marriage to Kim Kardashian crashed into flames, think again. TMZ reports:
As we first reported, Kim and Kris have a prenup -- which Kim felt was "the smart thing to do."

Sources familiar with the prenup tell TMZ ... the document keeps ALL assets separate, and with such a short marriage neither walks away with money from the other -- not a single penny.

Now that leaves just one piece of business on the table -- Kims $2 million engagement ring.  Sorry Kris, but you lose on 2 counts:

1.  Under California law, once you said "I do," you lost any rights to the ring

2.  You didnt pay for the ring, stupid
via Kim Kardashians Prenup -- Kris Humphries Comes Up Goose Eggs in Divorce | TMZ.com.

It's just so strange the the marriage ended in less than 75 days. I mean, if Kris and Kim can't make it work, who can? 

We'd love to be bringing you actual news, like, say, about the NBA's opening night, but guess what? Still locked out, no talks scheduled. Look what you have reduced us to, NBA. Look. 
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