Tag:Ron Artest
Posted on: July 20, 2011 2:27 pm
Edited on: July 20, 2011 3:14 pm
 

Ron Artest comes up with his jokes in the can

By Matt Moore

Ron Artest recently started doing comedy shows. Because he's Ron Artest. And after his first few shows were a hit (see a full review of one here), he recently told Sports Illustrated he's got plans for more shows, plus his own sitcom on BET and to ball overseas (despite what his agent is saying). So he's pretty busy. But the real gem of the article was Artest discussing, in classic Artest fashion, how he gets his jokes.
SI.com: So what's your comedy process? You sit down and write your material, or go off the cuff or what?

Artest: I get most of my jokes in the bathroom. I go to the bathroom and come up with some silly stuff, some good stuff, and then I go get my pen and pad and my recorder, just to see how I'm going to do it. I'm not doing the whole set, but I'm trying to figure out which joke I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it. So I practice it, and then I go out there and do it.
via Ron Artest discusses comedy, movies, streetball, playing in UK - Sam Amick - SI.com

Of course. 

At this point, it's difficult to see where the real, confusing, silly, baffling Artest ends and the manufactured, "give the people what they want" Artest begins. Is he really as wacky as he puts on? Is this the same guy who told the story about a friend dying from getting stabbed with a chair leg after a game and who wakes up his personal assistant to track down "snake eggs" in his backyard? Or is this the guy who won the Walter J. Kennedy award for citizenship, shaved Laker things into his head, and goes on The George Lopez Show? The answer is it's all the same. Artest's life is a performance and his performance is his life. 

But it's good to know that the source of all his stage material is the john. 

The preceding post has been brought to you by the 2011 NBA lockout.
Posted on: July 14, 2011 9:39 am
 

Video: Griffin and Love are Lockout Professionals

Posted by Royce Young



The lockout is a major bummer for a lot of people. Especially employees of NBA teams that don't have millions of dollars to fall back on but get laid off. So it's not really all that funny.

Yet, there's still good reason not to take it all too seriously. That's what Blake Grififn and Kevin Love did in their fake advertisement for "Lockout Professionals." Need a fly swatted high on the wall? Want Ron Artest to do your taxes? Want love advice from Tyson Chandler? You can get it all for the low price of like $9 million. Not bad. Pretty good way for these guys to make some coin while they're locked out.

Sure beats playing in Europe, I'd say.
Posted on: July 12, 2011 6:42 pm
Edited on: July 12, 2011 6:50 pm
 

Ron Artest isn't going to play in Britain either

Posted by Royce Young

For a time, Ron Artest was supposed to be headed to Finland to play at least a couple games. Then his agent squashed that.

Then Artest told the LA Times that he was going to go to Great Britain to play, either for the Glasgow Rocks or the Cheshire Jets. In classic Metta WorldPeace fashion he said, ""The teams aren't good, but I'm going there to finish a movie, so why not?" Yeah, why not?

Oh, here's why not. Artest's agent explained to ESPN LA:

"I told him, 'Ron, the league over there is not strong enough to really give you the competition that you want,'" Bauman said. "Even though that makes sense from a (convenience standpoint), it doesn't make sense from a basketball perspective."

[...]

"God forbid any of these guys get hurt," Bauman said. "Can I get $22 million insurance for Ron? I don't think so."

Possible injury appears to be Bauman's biggest fear, but obviously that doesn't seem to matter to Deron Williams, who said he's not worried because injuries could happen anywhere.

Competition is somewhat key though. It's really not worth the risk of injury and the little amount of money just to play a couple games of glorified pickup ball. A lot of players are talking about going overseas and for some, it's about keeping the steady stream of income. For others, it's about staying sharp. For Artest, I guess it was going to be about having something to do while he's in Britain.

The bigger story here to me is though, Metta WorldPeace is going to be in a movie? I smell an Oscar.
Posted on: July 10, 2011 12:07 pm
Edited on: July 10, 2011 1:14 pm
 

Ron Artest does stand-up comedy video

Los Angeles Lakers forward Ron Artest does stand-up comedy in a video. Posted by Ben Golliver.

Note: Please be advised this post included references to profanity. 

The NBA lockout is well into its second week, and the players have responded in many different ways: signing to play in Turkey, hosting summer camps and, of course, planking.

True to form, Los Angeles Lakers forward Ron Artest, who recently changed his name to Metta WorldPeace, did something different.  He took the stage at the Hollywood Improv to perform some stand-up comedy to kick off "Ron Artest's Ultimate Comedy Tour." 

The Los Angeles Times captured a portion of his act on video, which involved a question-and-answer format. WorldPeace was asked, "What did you learn from the brawl in Detroit?"

WorldPeace replied, "It seems like you want me to answer that one," he said with a smile. "I didn't learn s***. I just smacked [J.J.] Barea and f****** got suspended. That's why I changed my name to Metta. Next year, there will be peace."

Artest, of course, was referencing the clothesline he gave to Dallas Mavericks guard J.J. Barea during Game 2 of the second round of the Western Conference playoffs, a foul that earned him a suspension for Game 3. The Mavericks, who went on to win the 2011 NBA title, went on to sweep the Lakers out in four games.

Here's a look at the video courtesy of YouTube user LosAngelesTimes.


Posted on: June 28, 2011 5:14 pm
Edited on: June 28, 2011 5:27 pm
 

Artest's agent refutes Finland report

Posted by Royce Young

Earlier, we told you about the basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest and his plans to play in Finland at some point this summer. A random thing, but something totally unsurprising for Metta World Peace.

However, Artest's agent is now shooting down that original report. Via the LA Times:
Amid various Internet reports indicting Lakers forward Ron Artest plans to play for a Finland professional basketball team, agent David Bauman said they aren't true and are nothing more than a "publicity stunt."

"I'm his agent and nothing has come across my desk," Bauman said. "Although Ron has asked me to explore all options over in Europe in the event of a prolonged lockout, there are several legal and business considerations that have to be addressed. The biggest one involves insurance. None of those have been addressed and I don't even know who this guy claiming to have an agreement is. Final thing is what if the league has a lockout for say two weeks and then end up getting a deal. It becomes a moot point."

Bauman did say that Artest told him to look into options for him to play in Europe, but "certainly not with a small team in Finland." It would be a challenge for Artest to sign a deal overseas as he still has three years left on his current deal with the Lakers.

I find it funny though that Bauman said that he's Artest's agent so he would know. When it's totally possible that knowing Ron Artest, he didn't think to alert Bauman of some crazy thing he's done. That's kind of the Metta World Peace way, you know?
Posted on: June 28, 2011 10:11 am
Edited on: June 28, 2011 10:27 am
 

Report: Ron Artest to play in Finland

Posted by Royce Young

What's old "Metta World Peace" up to now?

Oh, he's just getting ready to play professional basketball in Finland. Via BallinEurope:

“Finland’s top league Korisliiga will witness some serious NBA talent in September 2011, when Los Angeles Lakers forward/multipersonality Ron Artest will join league newcomer LoKoKo Loimaa.

“The 31-year old Artest has three years left in his Lakers contract, but that doesn’t seem to bother LoKoKo sports director Aleksi Valavuori, who backs up the rumor in Tuesday’s Ilta-Sanomat newspaper.

“We have sorted things out and I can happily confirm that Artest will arrive in Finland,” Valavuori states in the Ilta-Sanomat interview.

The news comes from a Finnish newspaper, and naturally there could be a few things lost in translation. There's some question about the report's legitimacy, but by all appearances, it's the real deal.

I assume this is all lockout contingent, because Artest does have three years left on his Lakers deal, which could complicates things with FiBA rules. I don't really know how that all plays out with lockout rules, but Artest would be risking his contract for sure if he were to get injured.

As BallinEurope points out, Valavuori has pulled over other NBA players to appear in the Finnish league before. In November 2005, more than 7,000 people watched Dennis Rodman play in Helsinki and then in November 2008, Scottie Pippen played for Topo in Finland.

The report says Artest will appear in just a few games, so it's more likely a publicity stunt and not actually that he's joining a team for a season. But no doubt Artest is taking his new name seriously. Metta World Peace is going global, ya'll.
Posted on: June 23, 2011 6:24 pm
Edited on: June 23, 2011 6:51 pm
 

Ron Artest changing name to 'Metta World Peace'

Posted by Royce Young

Ron Artest has never had a problem changing things. Never had a problem doing big, bold things. He's changed his number from 15 to 93 to 37 to back to 15. He's changed teams multiple times. Heck, he's changed personalities.

Now, he's changing his name.

According to TMZ, Artest filed a petition with the L.A. County Superior Court to switch his name to "Metta World Peace." Yes, Metta World Peace. (Metta, if you're wondering, which I'm sure you are, means love, happiness, kindness, etc.)

The motivation evidently is so that Artest can have "Peace" on the back of his jersey. Noble, Ron-Ron. Er, I mean, Metta-Metta. Like Chad Johnson who is now Chad Ochocinco, this will likely be granted. Most judges allow name changes unless it could result in confusion or fraud.

So if this works out, Ron Artest will now be, "starting, at small forward, from St. John's... Mettaaaaaaaa World Peace!" For anyone else, it doesn't work. For Ron Artest, it's a beautiful thing.
Posted on: June 10, 2011 3:27 pm
Edited on: June 10, 2011 3:39 pm
 

Video: Jimmy Kimmel gets Ron Artest good

Posted by Royce Young



Ron Artest has been a very giving, caring person over the years. He donated his championship ring to raise money for mental health awareness, raising some $700,000. He's been active in a lot of charities, giving money, helping out by attaching his name to things or by volunteering.

So Jimmy Kimmel thought he'd take advantage of Ron-Ron's kind heart -- by getting him good. I have to tell you, some videos people say, "Man, this one is funny, watch it." But I mean it. This one is good.

Via Skeets
Category: NBA
 
 
 
 
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