Tag:Admiral Ackbar
Posted on: January 24, 2011 4:41 pm
Edited on: January 25, 2011 8:52 am

Bill attempts to bring back 'Colonel Reb' by law

Posted by Jerry Hinnen

Given how closely the culture of college football is intertwined with the modern Deep South, and how protective of certain (ahem) aspects of that culture certain (ahem) fans can be, it was probably only a matter of time before someone in the Mississippi state legislature came up with this idea :
Just when most talk of black bears and rebels had started to settle, state Rep. Mark Duvall , D-Mantachic, appears to be taking a legislative approach to the Ole Miss mascot debacle.

House Bill 1106, authored by Duvall, would amend the state code, adding a provision that the University of Mississippi "shall bear the nickname 'Ole Miss Rebels' and its mascot shall be 'Colonel Rebel.' "

Additionally, the bill states that the Ole Miss marching band must play "Dixie" and "From Dixie With Love" at home and away games.
Before we all start in on another round of laughter at the expense of Ole Miss and their confused political priorities, we should point out that 1. no one believes this bill has any chance of passing 2. the university has taken great pains in recent years to disassociate itself from its former "Old South" imagery, and no doubt doesn't appreciate the attempt to force it to re-embrace it 3. on that point, it's possible (if not at all likely) that this is in fact a highly elaborate smear job on the part of Duvall, a Mississippi State grad who no doubt appreciates the perpetuation of Ole Miss's reputation for racism at a time when his school could be battling the Rebels for recruits.

All that said, we don't remember the state legislature of Illinois stepping in to try and save Chief Illiniwek, either. This is all the more reason Ole Miss should have gone with Admiral Ackbar; no one's going to argue you're stuck in the past when your mascot is a catfish from the future, are they?

HT: Red Cup Rebellion via GTP .

Posted on: October 21, 2010 4:47 pm

Rebel fans plan statue of Colonel Reb

Posted by Jerry Hinnen

For most of us, Ole Miss 's quixotic search for a mascot to replace the outdated Colonel Reb -- and the delightful groundswell of support for a Star Wars character best described as "obscure" anywhere but the Internet to take over the job -- has been an amusing diversion at worst and downright endearing at its (Ackbarian) best. Even the eventual choice of the most generic, unMississippi mascot possible couldn't entirely take off the shine fron the neutral perspective.

But it's not surprising that from the perspective of Rebel fans themselves, this decision was something much more important. And this being a politically-loaded decision in the Deep South, it's unfortunately not surprising that the decision was something much, much, much more important to a particular subset of those fans. Important enough to sever and ties with the university and defiantly build a memorial statue of the deposed Colonel Reb? As the Ole Miss student paper the Daily Mississippian reports, yes, most definitely that important :

Speculation has arisen that a group of Ole Miss alumni seeks to erect a statue of Colonel Reb in Oxford in light of the recent decision by the Mascot Selection Committee.

In an e-mail to Chancellor Dan Jones and athletic director Pete Boone, Fairest Boyd, a graduate of Ole Miss and self-proclaimed long-time Rebel fanatic, politely requests an address to which she, along with her husband and several more family members and friends, may mail their diplomas back with wishes of officially terminating their association with the University ...

As for the Colonel Reb statue, Boyd said in the message that the monument will serve as a reminder that Ole Miss once stood as a great, public university, full of southern tradition, gallantry and honor, before becoming a “generic, so-called politically correct college.”
It's not just the, ahem, gallantry-focused alumni that believe a couple tons' worth of concrete antebellum gentleman is a great idea; the two Ole Miss students quoted in the article offer the project its unqualified support as well.

But no matter how much alumni, student, or black bear support the statue accumulates, it's not likely to ever come to fruition. As the story reports:

One member of the Board of Aldermen said that Boyd’s idea of erecting a statue is too controversial to discuss at this time. Furthermore, before the statue could be erected, it would have to be discussed, planned and approved by the city.
The odds of Oxford discussing, planning, and approving a Colonel Reb statue are probably longer than for an Admiral Ackbar statue, I'm guessing. Fairest Boyd may be entirely correct that such a statue would be "the next wonder of the world," but Ole Miss has worked too hard to rehabilitate its Old South image -- in spite of the efforts of the Fairest Boyds of the world -- for that wonder to ever become reality.

HT: TeamSpeedKills .

Posted on: October 15, 2010 8:15 pm

Insane Predictions, Week 7

Posted by the College Football Blog Staff

Every season, every month, every week, there are several outcomes and achievements that, frankly, nobody operating within reason would ever predict. Who could have predicted Nebraska would beat Florida for the 1995 title by 38 points, or that Boise State would pull off three late trick plays to knock off Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, or that Les Miles would look like the endgame genius against Urban Meyer and Florida? Nobody... until now. We're going to try capture that lightning in a bottle by making similarly absurd predictions every week. Are they at all likely to come true? No. Do we even believe the words we're writing? No. But if we make even one correct call on these, we will never stop gloating. Ever.

Highly Unlikely

Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore sprains his knee when he trips while running onto the field during pregame ceremonies, and all of a sudden, the Broncos must face San Jose State with a brand new quarterback. Boise coach Chris Peterson blames San Jose State and their groundskeeping for the mishap, and feeling untold amounts of shame, SJSU coach Mike MacIntyre forfeits the game. Moore recovers fully for the Broncos' next game, and Boise's march to a 12-0 regular season continues unabated. -- Adam Jacobi

As the closing seconds count down on the scoreboard at Ross-Ade Stadium, Tim Brewster looks up at it to see the final score: Purdue 37, Minnesota 13.  Knowing that these are probably the last few seconds that he'll spend on a sideline COMPETING and FIGHTING  with the Gophers, his emotions get the best of him.  Danny Hope begins to make his way to midfield to meet the coach, but instead Brewster bursts into tears and sprints off the field.  He then hides in a supply room deep within the bowels of the stadium, refusing to come out until eventually Minnesota AD Joel Maturi lures him out by promising he's not going to fire him.  Brewster then opens the door and comes out, his face red and blotchy, covered in tears.  "Really?" he asks Maturi.  "No, you're totally fired," says Maturi before kicking him in the groin. -- Tom Fornelli

Arizona's slide continues after falling to Oregon State despite getting some help from the replay officials.  This time, facing Washington State, the home officials give the Wildcats a taste of their own medicine and refuse to replay a game-winning touchdown that was actually an incomplete pass. Mike Stoops has no timeouts, and the Cougars quickly kick the extra point to pick up that elusive first conference win. It is later revealed that the replay official was Washington State alumnus Drew Bledsoe, who emerges from the booth in full Wazzu regalia and facepaint. The Pac-10 finds no fault in this. -- Chip Patterson

Severely Unlikely

With Texas trailing Nebraska 24-7 just before halftime, Mack Brown makes his way over to Colt McCoy who is watching the game from the sidelines.  "Listen, I need you to come to the locker room at halftime.  Give these boys a pep talk."  McCoy agrees, but Brown was lying.  Instead Brown locks Garrett Gilbert in a shed -- hey, it's popular in Texas -- and convinces McCoy to put on Gilbert's uniform.  McCoy then goes out and leads Texas to a comeback victory, finding James Kirkendoll for the game-winning touchdown with, you guessed it, one second left on the clock. -- Tom Fornelli

Michigan's defense pitches a shut out against Iowa. The Big House rocks as Denard Robinson totals 600 total yards of offense and the Wolverines bounce back from the loss to "Little Brother" with a performance for the ages as the Wolverines reclaim a spot in the Top 25 with a 48-0 win over the Hawkeyes. Adrian Clayborn, struck with grief, eats 400 cheeseburgers on the ride home and gives up on the NFL for a career in the lawn and garden industry. Turns out Clayborn is quite the green thumb. -- Chip Patterson

The Kansas football team shows up to an empty Memorial Stadium in Lawrence. Head coach Turner Gill and his Jayhawks were under the impression that their game would be played on Saturday, and thanks to various elaborate pranks by Kansas State fans, they had no idea that they had been scheduled to play on Thursday night. KSU coaches, upon finding out that Kansas had not appeared for the game, dressed their scout team in KU colors and had them put up token opposition. Somehow, they also had a scout team Turner Gill. The garbage-time touchdown Kansas State allowed to its double agents was a sublime touch. -- Adam Jacobi

Completely Ludicrous

McNeese State trots into Death Valley on Saturday night and shines under the lights. LSU quarterbacks Jarrett Lee and Jordan Jefferson combine for an NCAA-record 11 interceptions, five of which are returned for touchdowns.  The other six picks are hideous arm-punts that prevent the Tigers from finding the end zone once. Patrick Peterson returns 4 kick offs for touchdowns, but LSU falls 35-28. -- Chip Patterson

Emboldened by reports that he was coaching with his job on the line, Tim Brewster leads his team to an emotional 35-34 victory over a frisky Purdue squad... then rips off five more wins to finish the season, culminating in a 55-0 revenge win over Kirk Ferentz and the Iowa Hawkeyes at TCF Bank Stadium. Minnesota's 7-5 (6-2) record and a host of other conference losses among the rest of the Big Ten vault the Gophers into the Rose Bowl, making them the first five-loss team to earn a trip to Pasadena. A month before the game, Brewster announces that he's leaving the Gophers to coach his beloved Texas Longhorns; Mack Brown has retired, as expected, but the program was stunned when defensive coordinator (and presumptive next head coach) Will Muschamp pulled a simultaneous "sympathy retirement." The Gophers hire Mike Leach on the spot, and the new Pirate Gophers stun Oregon on January 1st, 45-31. -- Adam Jacobi

There's nothing out of the ordinary taking place in Tuscaloosa on Saturday night.  It's early in the fourth quarter and the Alabama Crimson Tide have a healthy 24-6 lead over the Rebels, but then suddenly a bright, white light can be seen in the sky.  Those who notice it assume that it's a comet or meteor passing by the planet, but it keeps getting bigger and bigger before everyone suddenly realizes it's coming right for them.  As it gets closer, it becomes clear that it is some kind of UFO, in fact, the space ship actually looks like a piece of fried calamari.   It lands at the 50-yard line, and out comes Admiral Ackbar.  Knowing immediately what's taking place, the new Ole Miss mascot makes a break for it before he is apprehended by members of the Rebel Alliance.  The Rebel Alliance then holds a trial on the field, determining whether or not the Bear shall live.  This does not please Nick Saban.  After a few minutes Saban walks briskly up to Admiral Ackbar, takes his gun, and executes the Bear himself before saying, "There.  NOW GET THE HELL OFF OF MY FIELD."  Ackbar and his soldiers sheepishly retreat to their ship and take off.  Not even the Rebel Alliance wants to mess with Nick Saban. -- Tom Fornelli

Posted on: October 14, 2010 5:32 pm
Edited on: October 14, 2010 10:59 pm

Reactions from the Ole Miss mascot announcement

Posted by Chip Patterson, Illustrated by Tom Fornelli

Well, it is official: Ole Miss has selected their new sideline mascot.  After seven years of debate, the "Rebel Black Bear" won 62 percent of the vote in a poll of more than 13,000 students, faculty, alumni, and fans.  The "Rebel Black Bear" beat out the other two finalists, the "Rebel Land Shark" and "Hotty Toddy."   

When we first told you about the three finalists for the new Ole Miss sideline prowler, we openly admitted that we were hoping that by some miracle Admiral Ackbar would somehow work a way into the new mascot.  It was a longshot dream, with chances not much bigger than womp rats I used to bullseye in my T-16 back home.  Admiral Ackbar is a strong and steadfast leader, but has a tendency to kind of freak out from time to time .

Here was the initial prediction of Ackbar's sentiments towards the Rebel Black Bear.

Now, I realize that your first thought is, "Wait a second, Ackbar couldn't shoot lasers out of his eyes!" Or maybe, "Holy crap Chip, you are a nerd."  Regardless, Ackbar never was never documented shooting lasers out of his eyes; but his time on screen was limited and much of his private life is untouched by Star Wars lore.  Still, we do know that Ackbar has an entire fleet of Calamari cruisers at his dispense, and they are all well equipped with lasers.

But thanks to the tweet of Ramzy Nasrallah , the conspiracy theorists of the mascot world (all seven of us) can remain hopeful that there is a master plan in place.  Hopefully the selection of the bear has very little to do with the actual characteristics, but instead is a hint for the ultimate reveal.

Ah ha! Now we finally understand what is going on down in Oxford.  After getting their cover blown by ESPN, the true Admiral Ackbar movement had to go underground and disguise itself as the Rebel Black Bear.  He may wear slacks in the Grove, but do not be shocked if the furry mammal is a cover up for one of the leaders of the Rebel Alliance.  

The only member of the SEC truly enraged by the announcement is UGA VIII, who's arrival on the Georgia sidelines has now been upstaged by this fishy business in Oxford.

So what does UGA VIII think of the new Ole Miss mascot?


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Posted on: September 22, 2010 12:59 pm

Archie Manning supports Houston Nutt

Posted by Tom Fornelli

it's been a tough year for Ole Miss.   First the school was refuted in its bid to add the mighty Admiral Ackbar to the fold, and then they lost to Jacksonville State in the season opener.  Now, after three weeks they're 1-2 and 0-1 in the SEC, seemingly destined to finish at the bottom of the conference standings.  Which just wasn't supposed to happen with Houston Nutt running the program.

Nutt was supposed to make the Rebels a contender in the SEC West, and he's done anything but, which is causing many members of the Rebel alliance to question their leader.  Though they may want to reconsider their position once they hear what the Grand Poobah of all things Ole Miss, Archie Manning , has to say about Nutt.
Manning expressed compassion for the Rebels' humble beginnings and confidence in Nutt's ability to turn things around.

"We're not real good right now, and when two (losses like Jacksonville State and Vanderbilt) happen you lose confidence, so Houston's got a big job," Manning said.

He continued: "I do think we have the right coach at Ole Miss. We've got a good football coach, and if anyone can kind of stabilize this thing, settle them down and get back to playing ... I knew it wasn't going to be a great, great year. Still, you hope you can turn it around, the SEC is a tough league."
Having Archie Manning in your corner has to feel good for Nutt, but all those happy feelings are washed away quickly when just looking at the Rebels' schedule for the remainder of the year.  There's no guarantee they'll beat Fresno State in Oxford this weekend, and then after that they still have road trips to Alabama, Arkansas, Tennessee and LSU.

So it's going to get worse before it gets better.
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com