Tag:General Insanity
Posted on: February 26, 2011 3:31 pm
Edited on: February 26, 2011 3:32 pm

Could Toomer's oaks survive?

Posted by Tom Fornelli

I've spent a lot more time writing about trees in the last few weeks than I ever planned to, but this Toomer's Corner soap opera just will not die. Harvey Updyke, the man who poisoned the famous oak trees on Auburn's campus, goes through lawyers than Lindsay Lohan goes through rehabs. Seriously, this story is to college football what Ronnie and Sammi have become to Jersey Shore. An unwanted distraction that is taking up too much time in our lives.

That being said, there just isn't a whole lot going on in the college football world right now, so we have to make do with whatever news we get. So here's some good news for Auburn fans everywhere. It seems that the oak tree situation may not be as dire as originally believed. The soil levels beneath the surface are showing a lower level of the herbicide than expected, and there's a possibility that the trees may survive.

"The good news is the concentrations are much lower than we initially detected in the beds around the trees. The bad news is we still detected herbicide," Gary Keever told al.com. "Is your glass half full or half empty? You can look at it either way. I choose to be an optimist because we're doing the right thing."

Keever is a professor of horticulture at Auburn and a member of a task force that is studying ways to save the trees.
Posted on: February 24, 2011 12:11 pm
Edited on: February 24, 2011 12:11 pm

Tupac fan now suing Pac-12

Posted by Tom Fornelli

A few weeks ago, we told you about the Tupac Shakur fan who owned the website domain name Pac12.com. When the new Pac-12 found out the domain name was owned, it sent the man, whom we now know is Austin Linford, a cease and desist letter in January. Linford then responded by putting up an Amazon widget to Tupac's music on his website, and the Pac-12 filed a complaint with the World Intellectual Property Organization.

Well, it seems Mr. Linford can get lawyered up too. Linford has filed his own lawsuit against the Pac-12.
Austin Linford filed the suit after the PAC-10 filed a UDRP complaint with World Intellectual Property Organization to get the domain name Pac12.com. Linford is asking for a declaratory judgment of non-infringement.
Although it originally appeared that the domain name changed hands immediately after the PAC-10 announced it was changing to the PAC-12, I’m now convinced that the same person owned the domain name. Linford just used different registrant information in WHOIS. This means he owned the domain name some five years before the conference announced its name change.
To go along with Pac12.com, Linford also owns Pacific12.com and PACtwelve.com. Now, if you ask me, the fact that Linford owns the domain name Pacific12.com tells me that he knew exactly what he was doing when he bought these domain names. I'm just impressed with his foresight and the fact that he bought the domains five years ago.

Seems he knew what was coming.

So the Pac-12 has a few options here. It can either spend some money to fight a court battle it isn't guaranteed to win, or it can use that money and make Linford an offer for the domains. After all, I don't think he bought them with anything else in mind.

Hat tip: Dr. Saturday
Posted on: February 22, 2011 4:36 pm

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

Posted by Tom Fornelli

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Earlier on Tuesday afternoon I wrote about Jerry Hauser. Hauser was the second lawyer in a matter of days who had been assigned to defend Harvey Updyke against the mischief charges he faces for poisoning the trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner to ask off the case. Now, merely a few hours later, Updyke has been assigned a third lawyer.

A third lawyer who has already asked off the case.
Jerry M. Blevins, who was assigned the case Tuesday morning, filed a motion Tuesday afternoon asking to be removed from the case. He's the third defense attorney to ask to be removed.
Blevins also asked the District Court in Lee County to delay a March 2 preliminary hearing that was assigned by the court Tuesday.
Blevins, in court papers, said he asked to be removed because an "irreconcilable conflict arose" between he and Updyke.
What was the irreconcilable conflict? It doesn't say, but given the recent history here, I'm guessing Blevins' cousin knows a guy who once dated a girl who saw an Auburn football game on television, and the wound from that failed relationship is just too fresh for Blevins to handle this case.

Seriously, at this point, I'll be Updyke's lawyer. I have never studied law, and I've never even seen a scene from Law and Order, but I do know enough that being charged with first degree mischief* isn't exactly a jailable offense. I'd just stand in front of the jury, say my client already admitted he committed the crime on a radio station, and tell them to give him community service and probation.

There.  Problem solved, case over, and we all move on with our lives.

*By the way, imagine if you did go to prison for mischief. You're sitting in your cell with your new bunkmate, an arsonist who killed an entire family in a fire he started, and he asks you what you did to get in there. "Mischief." I bet the rest of the prisoners would be terrified of you!
Posted on: February 22, 2011 12:56 pm

Nobody wants to be Harvey Updyke's lawyer

Posted by Tom Fornelli

Last week, the most famous tree poisoner in the history of Alabama, Harvey Updyke, lost his court-appointed lawyer due to a conflict of interest. Phillip Tyler had been Updyke's lawyer but filed a motion to be let off the case due to the fact he's a professor at Auburn, and has "numerous personal and family ties" to the school. So the court appointed Updyke a new lawyer, and now that lawyer has filed another withdrawal motion.

Jerry Hauser was given the case after Tyler, but on Tuesday morning he asked to be taken off the case as well due to his ties to Auburn. It seems Hauser's wife is the head of the Department of Communication and Journalism at the school. So no doubt she'd use her communicating prowess to let her husband know that he should set Updyke up for the death penalty.

Seriously, are there no public defenders in the state of Alabama that went to Alabama? Can't they find a single lawyer in the state with "Roll Tide" on its business card?

I mean, Nick Saban signs 40 players a year to the football team, surely one of them has to have a law degree by now.
Posted on: February 18, 2011 1:00 pm

Harvey Updyke's lawyer wants off the case

Posted by Tom Fornelli

The country's most famous tree-killer, Harvey Updyke, may have to find himself a new lawyer. When Updyke was arrested for poisoning the trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner the court appointed him a lawyer, Phillip O. Tyler. Well, Tyler doesn't really want to handle the case and he's filed a motion to remove himself from it.

Why? Well, Tyler's current law firm represents Auburn, and he's a part-time professor at the school. He also lives in Auburn and is a fan, saying that he has "numerous personal and family ties to Auburn University."

Which would be what we in the business call a "conflict of interest." I can only imagine the type of defense a lawyer from Auburn would craft for an Alabama fan who may have destroyed Toomer's Corner. It would probably be something along the lines of standing in front of the jury and screaming "He did it! He killed the trees! I urge you to sentence him to death!"

Which would likely please the Auburn fan base, but it wouldn't reflect too kindly on the American judicial system.
Posted on: October 2, 2010 7:07 pm
Edited on: October 2, 2010 8:22 pm

Christmas comes early for Les Miles

Posted by Tom Fornelli

You can always count on one thing when watching a college football game that features a team coached by Les Miles.   There's going to be some game clock mismanagement and probably an insane ending to the game to go with it.  We got just that on Saturday in Baton Rouge.

Tennessee had a 14-10 lead on LSU in the final minutes of the game, with LSU driving.  With a minute and a half left in the game the Tigers faced a 4th and 9, and being down by four, had to go for it.  Of course, being LSU, they had to pick up a delay of game penalty first.  Still, somehow Jarrett Lee fired a pass through three Tennessee defenders and into the arms of Terrence Tolliver for a first down.

Then the crazy started.

LSU had the ball at the Tennessee two-yard line in the final seconds, facing a second and goal.  Les Miles then sent Jordan Jefferson in for Lee so that Jefferson could run a quarterback draw.  Jefferson was tackled at the one-yard line, and since LSU had no timeouts left, the Tigers had to scramble back to the line.

Which, for some reason known to nobody but Les Miles, was when the Tigers starting sending in substitutions.  That head scratcher was then met with Tennessee sending in substitutions, with the clock winding down all the while.  So, eventually, LSU snapped the ball with a second left on the clock, but the snap was low and Jefferson couldn't corral it.  So Tennessee jumped on the ball and the celebration started for Derek Dooley and his boys.

A celebration that didn't last very long, for there was a penalty flag on the field.  Remember all those inexplicable substitutions?  Yes, well, it turns out Tennessee sent out one too many and had 12 men on the field.

LSU got one more play, untimed, and Stevan Ridley got in the end zone.  LSU won, and somehow Les Miles will still be employed tomorrow morning.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com