Tag:Jerry Hauser
Posted on: February 22, 2011 4:36 pm

Third time isn't the charm for Updyke

Posted by Tom Fornelli

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Earlier on Tuesday afternoon I wrote about Jerry Hauser. Hauser was the second lawyer in a matter of days who had been assigned to defend Harvey Updyke against the mischief charges he faces for poisoning the trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner to ask off the case. Now, merely a few hours later, Updyke has been assigned a third lawyer.

A third lawyer who has already asked off the case.
Jerry M. Blevins, who was assigned the case Tuesday morning, filed a motion Tuesday afternoon asking to be removed from the case. He's the third defense attorney to ask to be removed.
Blevins also asked the District Court in Lee County to delay a March 2 preliminary hearing that was assigned by the court Tuesday.
Blevins, in court papers, said he asked to be removed because an "irreconcilable conflict arose" between he and Updyke.
What was the irreconcilable conflict? It doesn't say, but given the recent history here, I'm guessing Blevins' cousin knows a guy who once dated a girl who saw an Auburn football game on television, and the wound from that failed relationship is just too fresh for Blevins to handle this case.

Seriously, at this point, I'll be Updyke's lawyer. I have never studied law, and I've never even seen a scene from Law and Order, but I do know enough that being charged with first degree mischief* isn't exactly a jailable offense. I'd just stand in front of the jury, say my client already admitted he committed the crime on a radio station, and tell them to give him community service and probation.

There.  Problem solved, case over, and we all move on with our lives.

*By the way, imagine if you did go to prison for mischief. You're sitting in your cell with your new bunkmate, an arsonist who killed an entire family in a fire he started, and he asks you what you did to get in there. "Mischief." I bet the rest of the prisoners would be terrified of you!
Posted on: February 22, 2011 12:56 pm

Nobody wants to be Harvey Updyke's lawyer

Posted by Tom Fornelli

Last week, the most famous tree poisoner in the history of Alabama, Harvey Updyke, lost his court-appointed lawyer due to a conflict of interest. Phillip Tyler had been Updyke's lawyer but filed a motion to be let off the case due to the fact he's a professor at Auburn, and has "numerous personal and family ties" to the school. So the court appointed Updyke a new lawyer, and now that lawyer has filed another withdrawal motion.

Jerry Hauser was given the case after Tyler, but on Tuesday morning he asked to be taken off the case as well due to his ties to Auburn. It seems Hauser's wife is the head of the Department of Communication and Journalism at the school. So no doubt she'd use her communicating prowess to let her husband know that he should set Updyke up for the death penalty.

Seriously, are there no public defenders in the state of Alabama that went to Alabama? Can't they find a single lawyer in the state with "Roll Tide" on its business card?

I mean, Nick Saban signs 40 players a year to the football team, surely one of them has to have a law degree by now.
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