Tag:This Is Stupid
Posted on: November 19, 2011 8:55 pm
Posted by Adam Jacobi
Say this about Oregon: the athletic department's not shy about, well, anything. We're talking about Nike's playground here, and if Nike does anything, it does it big. Witness, if you will, this very special guest on the sidelines for Saturday's game against USC.
Now, LeBron James is just there visiting; it's not like he's in pads. Oh man, what if he was in pads, though? What if he was going to play for Oregon? He was throwing passes, so... what if he was going to play quarterback? WHAT IF LEBRON JAMES WERE OREGON'S STARTING QUARTERBACK RIGHT NOW? LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS.
PROS: The most athletic athlete ever.
CONS: What, are you serious? He can't be their quarterback. This is insane.
PROS: Never went to college so he's probably eligible.
CONS: No he's not! He's a professional athlete.
PROS: NBA's locked out. He has a ton of time.
CONS: He has a ton of endorsements, too. Is he just going to give all those up?
PROS: Can you imagine, LeBron James in the same backfield as LaMichael James. LBJ and LMJ.
CONS: OK, how about this: he's not a student at Oregon so how could he possibly be a student-athlete for Oregon?
PROS: Do you think LeBron and LaMichael are related? I bet they are. Makes sense.
CONS: THEY'RE NOT RELATED ARE YOU KIDDING ME
PROS: Has the physical frame of a Byron Leftwich, with the height to see over the line and not get "lost in the trees."
CONS: Has never played quarterback in his life? Hello?
PROS: Probably knows a ton of celebrities.
CONS: SO WHAT????
PROS: It would be so cool to see a 6'8", 260 guy run a read option, admit it.
CONS: But he can't possibly know how to run a read option. That's the thing.
PROS: Can't possibly be worse at making the right reads than Darron Thomas was in the BCS Championship.
CONS: Well, that's ridic... rid... actually, that's a good point.
PROS: Wouldn't it be awesome to see him do the "dunk on the goal posts" move after a touchdown?
CONS: OK, yeah, it would. It would be really awesome.
PROS: WHOA WAIT WHAT IF YOU DID THAT BUT WITH AN ALLEY-OOP?
PROS: LEBRON JAMES FOR OREGON STARTING QUARTERBACK RIGHT NOW
Posted on: October 5, 2011 1:23 am
Edited on: October 5, 2011 1:35 am
Posted by Adam Jacobi
If you haven't read Bruce Feldman's list of the 10 biggest surprises about this college football season, please, go to do so right now. This post will still be here when you're done, and it's not nearly as important. In fact, the only thing I want to mention about Feldman's post (other than "you should read it") is this picture that was used on the CBSSports.com college football home page in conjunction with the story:
On first glance, it's clear that all the Kansas State gentlemen are very happy, but take another look at KSU QB Collin Klein there on the right. Doesn't it look like he's doing the quotation mark gesture while he says something to the crowd? Like, what can a quarterback say about a touchdown that can only be expressed with ironic finger quotes? "Great 'tackling,' opponent!" That's a solid zinger, but the crowd probably can't even hear him.
These are the things I choose to believe.
Posted on: September 12, 2011 4:58 pm
Edited on: September 12, 2011 5:52 pm
Posted by Adam Jacobi
During the past offseason, the Pac-12 hired former NFL vice president of officiating Mike Pereira as its interim coordinator of officiating, and on its face, it seemed like a wise move. Pereira has decades of experience with refereeing, he knows his stuff inside and out, and he's enough of a public figure that Fox Sports has him on during broadcasts to discuss rules interpretations to fans. Sounds good, right? Here's the thing: Pereira is in his 60s now, and he's got some ideas about what's considered sportsmanlike and unsportsmanlike that players 40 years younger might have some qualms about. In particular, Pereira sees Oregon's players making the "O" gesture with their gloves, simulating and celebrating the logo of their very own school, and via Dr. Saturday, here's what he has to say:
We'll note that Pereira specifically mentions the military and God because he had mentioned earlier in the clip that these were the two entities to whom gestures would never be penalized. And that's good. But hang on -- military and God are fine, but a salute to the fans and the school itself is out of bounds? What on earth is Pereira trying to prevent here? These guys are playing football for the school and its fans first and foremost, and a celebration like this is never going to cause any negative consequences on the field. If anything, it strengthens the bond between fan and student-athlete, and that's the type of thing that matters when it comes to selling tickets.
Moreover, the act of penalizing celebrations helps nothing. It's not like excessive enforcement of traffic laws, which at least raises money for municipalities in the form of ticket fines. We can't take penalty yards to the bank. Penalties don't sell seats or make fans happy. They don't even move the game along. Thus, they ought to be called only when there's actual cheating or bad acts occurring. Flashing the Oregon 'O' to happy fans? That ain't it, Mr. Pereira. In fact, if he really wants to see a negative reaction to an Oregon Duck throwing up the 'O' after a score, there's one surefire way to do that: have a ref throw a flag about it.
I'm not allowed to use words strong enough to convey the extent of my revulsion toward Pereira's decision here, but let's just leave it at this: he can take this ban and shove it somewhere very uncomfortable (like the back of a Volkswagen).