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Posted on: November 8, 2011 1:36 am
 

DENIM BEAT SMOKINí JOE IN MANILLA

On October 1, 1975 in Quezon City, Philippines the temperature came dangerously close to 100 ° F as two men came dangerously close to death.  Many words have been written, spoken or yelled about the Thrilla in Manilla.  Many predictions were made both before and after Ali and Frazier did what looked difficult, and, I can only imagine felt impossible.  Often I’ll hear the “what ifs”.   What if Ali had trained harder?  What if Frazier’s eyes didn’t swell shut?  The one thing never asked is, what if Frazier had worn satin trunks instead of denim?

 

With the amount of sweat absorbed by his denim trunks Frazier had to feel as if he was carrying an extra five pounds.  Jump in a lake with jean shorts on then try and fight Muhammad Ali for 14 rounds in the Philippines.  Can’t do it, can you?  Maybe that fight would have went differently had Frazier moved around the ring easier?  Sure, Frazier’s eyes were closed by the end of the fight, but had he not tired around the 10<sup>th</sup> round, perhaps he wouldn’t have absorbed Ali’s late rally that effectively closed his eyes.

 

Of course this is all just hopefully interesting idle talk.  The real question is, are there any boxers out there today who would do what Frazier once did, and put his reputation on the line to fight a man who can also lay claim to being the best on the planet.  One named Floyd or Manny, perhaps?


Posted on: October 11, 2011 4:51 pm
 

WEEK 5

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ballsundays

WEEK 5

So my girlfriend and I have the same birthday.  It's on Monday.  The Detroit Lions will play the Chicago Bears in football this Monday...  Looks like I need to sit my girlfriend down and have her watch the original Star Wars trilogy, so she can discover that there is still good left in her to do the right thing; she just needs to search for it.  That and destroy the emperor.

 

CHRONOLOGICAL RANDOMNESS

Most years I have trouble keeping track of which week of the season we are in.  At this point I am keeping track of that by how many wins the Lions have, man this is sweet!

 

Jon Lynch on Carolina stopping Drew Brees  “They got to pray a lot. It is Sunday…”

 

Al Davis:  I did not know the man, but what I heard I liked.  He was successful doing things his way.  I guess we all are successful doing things our way, but his way won Super Bowls.  We live in a world that often rewards conformity.  To go against the grain and win titles must have been a very good feeling for him.  Perhaps the over-confidence he gained from this led to some of his questionable decisions in later years.  Or, maybe when you own a team for that long you are bound to miss a few times.  Either way in my opinion there’s a guy who can go to the grave saying, “I won, baby!!!”

 

My girlfriend is about to yell at me for not being ready to go to her Grandmother’s for lunch (I am on the couch wearing a towel, it is not attractive)… here it comes…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..nothing… hmmm.  Guess cause it’s Canadian thanksgiving…

 

Well, the day has come.  Today the Johnson River Shrieking Rainbow-Trout will take the field without part of our namesake, Andre Johnson.  It’s a sad day for our organization.  I realize I am speaking about him like he is dead, and in a way he is.  In today’s world if you’re not putting up fantasy points, then… well...

Now for my MVP of the 1<sup>st</sup> quarter of the season…  This year’s award goes to:  Peyton Manning.  I’m shocked that the Colts have done so poorly without him.  On offense they have the pieces to have a strong running game.  The have one of the best centers in the league in Jeff Saturday, and Reggie Wayne leads a group of great receivers.  His 3 MVP’s make a little more sense to me now.

 

Tim Allen is in a new show called “Last Man Standing”… hope that is not set in Detroit.

 

LIONS FUND: 
(When I save enough I buy the team and lead them to the Promised Land.)

Last week: $0.00
This week: $3.32

A little birthday money allows for a nice rebound.  That and I only missed one day of work last week.  Look out NFL the next AL Davis is on his way!!!  (Please don’t stab me Raider fans.)

 

1 THING FROM EVERY SOME GAMES:

DET 24 @ CHI 13
Oh, eat it Chicago.  Not only do the Lions own you but I walk around the city wearing my Matthew Stafford t-shirt afterwards!

ARI 10 @ MINN 34
Looks like Donovan McNabb is a better QB than Kolb (not really).

SD 29 @ DEN 24
Okay Tim Tebow, I will support you.  But you CAN’T thank god for your ability or any success you have from this point on.

Category: NFL
Tags: COMEDY
 
Posted on: October 11, 2011 4:48 pm
 

WEEK 4

http://shanecopland.tumblr.com/foot
ballsundays

Woke up this morning and realized I have a day of football then a fantasy hockey draft tonight!  Now I know how Jesus felt… well not near the end but on the other days.


CHRONOLOGICAL RANDOMNESS

“Richard Seymour could have helped the Patriots today, but he can’t because he plays for the Raiders now.” – Some broadcaster with not too much to say about the Pats-Raiders game.

Of all the early games the only one on TV is the Bears-Panthers?!?!  Now I feel like Jesus on Easter.  Come on Chicago?!  You know you want to watch the Lions-Cowboys game.  Who is in charge of TV and what’s his phone number?!?!  Wait till I become president; then things’ll be different.

Nice job Devin Hester but, how hard would it be to return a kick for a TD really?  Don’t brag until I’ve tried it and verified its difficulty.

Life without Andre Johnson would be hell at the Shrieking Rainbow-Trout organization.

20-3! So glad they’re not playing the Lions game on TV.

So crushed they are not playing the Lions game on TV.

Somebody just ordered NFL Red Zone!  Suck it people who schedule the TV!

You gotta be upset if you’re a running back with a bunch of yards on a drive and they give the ball to Marion Barber on the goal line to take it in for the score.

When life has you down and you’re up against it- I want Calvin Johnson on my team.  At the very least he could spring for a hotel room while we wait for the heat to die down.

With the Lions on the goal line, less than a minute to play and the game on the line; the play I’d call would be for Matt Stafford to drop back 80-yds and throw a game winning TD pass to Calvin Johnson. Cause that would be more impressive.

Just once I want to see a defense put all 11 players on Calvin Johnson to see if he'd come down with the ball. Oh wait, he would… Never mind.

I live in Chicago, so I have a front row seat, and for the life of me I can not figure out what is wrong with the Bear's passing game.  It looks to me like Jay Cutler is bad at football, but maybe it’s the O-Line?  I really don't know?

Going to be a long day Monday at the offices of the Shrieking Rainbow Trout while we await news about Andre Johnson's injury.  Can not replace a player of his caliber on your fantasy team.


LIONS FUND: 
(When I save enough I buy the team and lead them to the Promised Land.)

Last week: $1.89
This week: $0.00

Got drunk with my roommate and I guess I needed $1.89 for something?  Starting from scratch week 5… I was so close… I’m an idiot!


1 THING FROM EVERY SOME GAMES:

DET 34 @ DAL30
There are moments in life where you feel like someone is up there looking out.

TEN 31 @ CLE 13
Not only is Tennessee still participating in the league, but they are 3-1.  Who knew?  

MINN 17 @ KC 22
Didn’t watch this game but I’ll bet it was bad. 

SF 24 @ PHI 23
I am surprised.  Guess you shouldn’t trade away all your quarterbacks no matter how fast the one you have is.  Oh, and it’s not like Vick was a rock-solid reliable citizen either… 


Category: NFL
Posted on: September 27, 2011 1:30 pm
 

WEEK 3

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ballsundays


Very, very hung-over this week. I hope my off-blog conduct does not affect this blog, or the streak that the Lions and I have put together, together.

 

CHRONOLOGICAL RANDOMNESS

I Just heard that if the Detroit Lions want to do well this year Matthew Stafford needs to stay healthy.  That’s a really good point; I’m surprised nobody else has mentioned it…

 

Tom Brady WILL be president one day.

 

If Kerry Collins has a heart attack while dropping back in the pocket would the first defender to touch him get credit for the sack?

 

Someone should write a movie about players banging cheerleaders and the antics that ensue.  It could be real or made up.  Come to think of it, someone likely has already made a film on that very topic.  To YouPorn!!!

 

YouPorn is Google for boners.

 

Miguel Cabrera should play for the Lions, just see what happens.

 

DearDetroitLions,

I got drunk last night and now you’re letting the Vikings beat up on you.  I’m sorry I’ve let my drinking affect your performance on the field. Please bail me out on this one and I’ll never drink again?

 

If anyone wants to sleep over I’ve rearranged my room and can now fit an air mattress in there. Only thing is when it’s blown up we won’t be able to open the door so we both have to pee in a bucket.

 

Anyone know the score of the Pats-Bills game?  Fox has not shown any game breaks for a while.

 

If you threw a dagger, like an actual knife, at Calvin Johnson- he’d catch it.  Same goes for a live barracuda.  What I’m saying is he’s great at football.  Not that I wish him any harm.

 

I don’t imagine cup cakes are all that difficult to make.

 

Thank you Jason Hanson!  Once again you’ve kept my alcoholism from affecting the Detroit Lions.

 

Things are not going well with my fantasy organization.  Rivers, Forte and Starks are all vastly underperforming for the Shrieking Rainbow-Trout.

 

Ryan Grant may be injured…things are looking up!

 

I feel like successful football blogs start at the line of scrimmage.

 

Steelers-Colts tonight; I will say no thank-you NFL.

 

I’m looking forward to all the Brett Favre to the Eagles rumors this week.


 

LIONS FUND: 
(When I save enough I buy the team and lead them to the Promised Land.)

Last week: $0.92

This week: $1.89

I have partnered with Bank of American in a program called “Keep the Change Transfers”.  When I buy things via debit they round up to the nearest dollar and put that money back in my account.  I’d like to go on the record that the Bank will in no way have any ownership in the Lions.

 

 

1 THING FROM EVERY SOME GAMES:

DET 26 @ MIN 23
Great teams make second half comebacks; just ask Joe Montana.  Seriously, ask him!  I will check with him and make sure you did.

NE 31 @ BUF 34
Seriously though, cut it out Buffalo Bills.  You are a bad football team.   

 

NYG 29 @ PHI16
Eli Manning; doing it for little brothers everywhere!

 

NYJ 24 @ OAK 34
I’d like to see Al Davis and Rex Ryan drinking together.  

Category: NFL
Posted on: September 21, 2011 2:05 pm
 

WEEK 2:

And we are off.  This week I am focusing on healthier snacks because of a small coronary last week and poverty.
 

CHRONOLOGICAL RANDOMNESS: 

Shane on not having a laptop to check you fantasy football scores while watching the game:  “You lose a little something.”

I have a feeling I am going to see a lot of J-Lo singing in a car today.*

“Anytime you are on a list, and there are other good players on that list.  That’s a list you want to be on” – Some football color commentator.

If I farted on my brother’s head it wouldn’t be funny anymore.  Adulthood is sad… No, wait. If I farted on my brother’s head it would be hilarious.  Everything is okay!

The people who control the TV just switched from the Lions blowing out the Chiefs to the Bills-Raiders game.  How do they know we don’t want to see the Lions blow out a team?!  That’s rarer than a fourth quarter comeback!

Thank you TV people for switching to the Bills-Raiders game.

I missed the game-winning Nelson TD catch inBuffalo.  Never peeing again…

I start a blog and the Detroit Lions go 2-0.  Only one conclusion to draw from that; Calvin Johnson is good.

If you had bet a lot of money on a football game; how much would you pay a guy to throw a drink in the other QB’s face as he left the field for halftime?

The more commercials the NFL plays the more people will sign up for the Sunday Ticket package.  They can not stop making money.

I wish Phillip Rivers would come over to my house and yell at me while I’m in the shower in the morning to get me pumped up for my day.
 

LIONS FIUND: 
(When I save enough I buy the team and lead them to the Promised Land.)

Last week: $7.93

This week: $0.93 

Was $7.01 over on groceries, but with a fridge full of apples things are looking good for a rebound this week.
 

1 THING FROM EVERY SOME GAMES: 

JAK 3 @ 32 NYJ
I read somewhere that Rex Ryan called his brother and made fun of him for losing last weeks match up between the two.  I wish you could buy a coach’s jersey.  Maybe I’ll get one of those sweater vest things he wears? 

KC 3 @ DET 48 
Lions win 48-3!  I was kidding last week when I said Super Bowl, but seriously they won’t win the Super Bowl.

SEA 0 @ PITT 24 
If you don’t score any points you’ll often not win at football.

OAK 35 @ BUF 38
The Buffalo Bills don’t win at football.  What is going on here?
 

* Turns out I did see a lot of J-Lo singing in a car today.


Category: NFL
Posted on: September 21, 2011 1:46 pm
 

WEEK 1:

This off-season seemed longer. Since last year I have lost a little weight but will no doubt put that right back on starting…. now.

What will happen here is every week I’ll write about random things during my football Sundays, and keep a running tally on my Lions fund.

The Lions fund is a savings account I have started with the hopes of buying the Detroit Lions and bringing a Super Bowl to that proud, beautiful franchise.

Lets begin:
 

CHRONOLOGICAL RANDOMNESS:

Woke up this morning and got high almost immediately.

Thinking about buying a gym membership right now, need to eat some mozza sticks to take care of this.

If you put bacon and eggs in a cold pan then add that pan to heat- that is brilliant…my girlfriend disagrees with this.

Allow me to plead my case?

You are able to cook both the bacon and eggs in the same pan. This is because of the added time that comes with not being concerned with uneven, or even, over-cooking. 

You can take your time arranging the bacon and not worry about burning your fingers. As we all know the key to putting bacon in the pan is ensuring maximum bacon surface area coming in contact with the pan.

You feel very cool, smart and confident.

The Detroit Lions up 20-10 at halftime…Suuuuuuuuuuuuperbowl!!!!

Lions win. What else is new? That makes 5-straight from last season.

Attention: Buffalo, Cincinnati and Washington. You are bad at football. Remember this. You’re costing us money.
 

LIONS FIUND: 
(When I save enough I buy the team and lead them to the Promised Land.)

Last week: n/a

This week: $7.93
 

1 THING FROM EVERY SOME GAMES:

IND 7 @ HOU 34
Peyton Manning is good at football. <s></s>

BUF 41 @ KC 7
Anything can happen when you're in a city that has lost 4 Super Bowls. 

Category: NFL
 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com