Posted on: July 30, 2009 3:42 pm
Edited on: July 30, 2009 5:51 pm

Ortiz is a druggie, and I'm mad at me

Why am I mad at me? Because I thought Ortiz was a steroids user for years. So did you. So did anyone with any common sense. He goes from being an average player with the Twins to being a Hall of Famer with the Red Sox, and he made that improvement in the Steroid Era, and yet he wasn't on 'roids?

He wasn't, not officially, until the New York Times outed him today. So now we can all talk about what we already sort of knew: Ortiz was a juicer.

Great. But too late. Which is why I'm mad at me. I had no guts, or I would have called out Ortiz years ago as the cheater we all thought he was.

There are two players right now I think are cheaters. Two sluggers. Both in the National League. At least one of them was in the HR Derby. If I had any guts I'd come out and say it: _____ is on steroids.

But I don't have any guts. So I won't say it.

And in three years when this guy, and the other guy, get outed ... I'll be mad at myself then, too.

Until then, speculate away on the two players. Figuring them out should take out about ... five or six seconds.
Category: MLB
Posted on: July 1, 2009 5:02 pm

MLB All-Star game is pointless

I mean, 33 All-Stars? Thirty-three?

Like 30 wasn't enough. Or 32. Now there's 33. The fans vote for eight starters. The players pick eight pitchers. The players pick eight reserves. And the managers pick eight more. Plus Internet voting -- very cool -- adds the last name.

But really. Why stop at 33? Why not make everyone an all-star? And then someone's mom could bring orange wedges for everyone and they could all go for ice cream later, and by golly I bet every one of their names might make it into the newspaper!

Son: Look who made the All-Star team, Dad -- Ryan Freel!

Dad: Everyone made it. In both leagues.

Son: And isn't that just swell?

Gag me.

Category: MLB
Posted on: June 23, 2009 10:02 am

This is why you hate the media

This guy.

This column.

This guy, a "baseball guy" through and through, has the nerve to say that outgoing union boss Donald Fehr was good for the game, and by extension, good for you. In an hour or so I'll have a column up that demonstrates, beyond argument, why Fehr was horrible for you.


But that guy, in that column, doesn't get it. And why? Because he has spent his career going to games for free. He has no idea what it's like to be a paying customer, which makes his column nothing but insulting.

And if he's a nice guy -- don't know him; don't care -- I apologize.

No I don't. Not unless he apologizes to all of you first. For insulting you.

Category: MLB
Posted on: June 22, 2009 3:35 pm

Fehr done; I make a dirty joke

According to ESPN, which is never wrong, Donald Fehr is resigning as the leader of the free world baseball players' union. According to ESPN, he will be replaced by aide Michael Weiner.

So if I have this straight, the baseball union's new leader is a Weiner. Which makes sense. Its old leader was a ... jerk.

Enjoy the veal.
Category: MLB
Posted on: June 11, 2009 7:22 pm

This writer's great -- just ask him!

Never before have I read such self-stroking by a sports writer. Hell, if this guy wrote this story in a public park, he could have been arrested for ... you know. Doing something gross with oneself.

It's a "mainstream journalism" take on the Raul Ibanez-steroid-blogger story. And it's why "mainstream journalism" sometimes, for lack of a better word, sucks.

Category: MLB
Posted on: May 29, 2009 4:26 pm
Edited on: May 29, 2009 4:31 pm

Vote Manny in!

Fans just might vote the Dodgers' Manny Ramirez into the 2009 All-Star Game despite his steroid suspension, which would be the greatest thing to happen to the All-Star Game since Reggie Jackson homered off the light tower in Detroit.

Because if Manny gets in, the fans will have to get out. MLB commissioner Bud Selig would have no choice but to remove the vote from the fans' hands, if they are so irresponsible as to vote Ramirez into the game.

Seriously, how could fans be allowed to pick one of this country's marquee sporting events if they vote a drug cheat into the outfield?

Removing the fans would be terrific, because sheer voter volume dictates that the biggest teams will put the most players in the game. Maybe you think that's fine, that the All-Star Game is about the fans and for the fans and therefore should be picked by the fans. We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, because after years of watching Yankees and Red Sox dominate the starting lineups, I'm done with it.

So vote for ManRam, you knuckleheads. Because I'm done with you, too.
Category: MLB
Posted on: July 18, 2008 6:58 pm

Hideo a Hall of Famer

The Baseball Hall of Fame is for people who changed the game, either through (1) brilliance, (2) sheer volume of work or by (3) blazing a trail.

Hideo Nomo did just enough of (1) and more than enough of (3) to get into the Hall of Fame.

Nomo made it cool for Japanese players to seek a spot in the majors, and he made it sensible for American teams to seek those players. If Nomo had come here and flopped, we might never have gotten a no-brainer Hall of Famer like Ichiro, not to mention the hordes of quality Japanese players who migrated to the majors.

Nomo didn't flop. He was the NL Rookie of the Year, he won 123 games, and he is one of just four pitchers to throw a no-hitter in the NL and AL.

Add it up, and he's a Hall of Famer. But I'm guessing he won't make it, or come close. Why? Because the typical baseball writer -- our own Scott Miller and Danny Knobler, the best 1-2 combination in the business, are not typical -- can't see the forest because of all those darned trees.


Category: MLB
Posted on: July 15, 2008 2:54 pm

A-Rod is scum

If A-Rod spied on his wife, that is.

But if he spied, he's scum. And he's hypocritical scum, which is the worst kind. A-Rod is the one linked in the past to various infidelities. A-Rod is the one linked now to Madonna. And he's been spying on his wife?

If you recall, I wrote about A-Rod and Madonna a few weeks back, and basically said, "I've been following this stuff, too, but really it's none of our business."

I take it back. Now that the divorce has gone public, it becomes public record, which makes it our business. So I'm going to pop some popcorn, get a soda and sit back and follow this very public story to its bitter end.

Category: MLB
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