Posted on: May 28, 2009 8:37 am

Joe Paterno, selfish old man

Old isn't an insult, by the way. It's an adjective. If he were 35, I'd have titled this thing, "Joe Paterno, selfish young man."

But he's old. And he's selfish. And why? Because he is campaigning for the Big Ten to expand by adding Syracuse, Pittsburgh or Rutgers. "Not in that order," he says.

Like the order matters. What matters is this: Those three schools already have a home -- the Big East. But Paterno doesn't care about that. He's lobbying for his BCS league to grow, at the expense of another BCS league. We've been through this before, when the ACC knocked down fences and screwed up yards with its tractor by taking from the Big East for its big expansion. That was ugly. The ACC was selfish.

And now Paterno wants the Big Ten to be selfish, at the expense -- and possibly the death -- of the Big East.

Classy, JoePa. Hey, wait. Is that a siren? Was another of your players just arrested?

Anyway ...

Obviously the Big East is on shaky ground. No one's saying that league is in solid shape. It's waiting for a hyena to come pick at its struggling body, and Paterno is sharpening his greedy little teeth.


Retire already.

Category: NCAAF
Posted on: December 1, 2008 8:16 am

Clemson is the new West Virginia

Those who don't study history are doomed to follow West Virginia into the toilet.

That's where Clemson is headed. The toilet. The Tigers apparently are following the Mountaineers' post-Rich Rodriguez plan, which is to say, they're elevating an assistant coach because of his enormous popularity with the current players and his tiny sample size of games as head coach.

At West Virginia, the new coach became longtime assistant Bill Stewart, whose first season at the helm saw the Mountaineers finish out of the BCS picture in the worst season yet for the worst league in the BCS. The Big East is terrible, and West Virginia -- after dominating it under Rodriguez, and with talented quarterback Pat White back -- couldn't win it. West Virginia couldn't even beat East Carolina. Or Colorado.

The Mountaineers are a disappointment, and now it's Clemson's turn.

Dabo Swinney? Are you kidding me? Look, Clemson, you don't kill the king to promote the prince. But that's what you did, running off Tommy Bowden and promoting his receivers coach, Swinney. Because as we all know, Clemson is known as Wide Receiver U.

It looks good now, Clemson fans. I get it. Swinney went 4-2 as interim coach and beat South Carolina. Great. Terrific.

But in three years when Clemson is 4-8, remember where you heard it first.

Category: NCAAF
Tags: Dabo Swinney
Posted on: July 30, 2008 12:07 pm

Dog starting to wag Paterno's tail

About time, Penn State.

About time someone there began taking control of a program that has run completely out of control under the blind watch of Joe Paterno.

Two players have been kicked off the team, and it just so happens they were kicked off the team within days of a brutal, but accurate, investigative report by ESPN's Outside the Lines. The report found lawless Penn State has become the new Miami, the new Oklahoma, the new Bengals. The report was incredible. And now two players -- two players Paterno had kept around -- are gone. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidence.

It looks to me like the media might just be able to accomplish what the gutless Penn State administration and the selfish Penn State head coach cannot: Pressure on Paterno. Progress.

Next up: Paterno's forced resignation.

Time to go, Joe.




Category: NCAAF
Tags: Joe Paterno
Posted on: July 12, 2008 10:16 am

Alabama has two faces

And both of them are ugly.

On the football field, player after player after player gets into trouble with the law. Most of them stay with the team. Most of them will play as much as they are needed to play this season.

In the football broadcasting booth, Kenny Stabler gets into trouble with the law. And he's gone. Talking a "leave of absence" for the entire year. Maybe the leave was his idea. Maybe it wasn't. The way Alabama handles things, it's hard to take anything that comes out of that football program at face value.

If I'm an Alabama fan, I'm sick to my stomach. But I'm not an Alabama fan. Maybe you are. So I'm guessing you're just mad at me now.

Category: NCAAF
Posted on: May 15, 2008 7:18 pm

For the love of God, Joe

Please retire. Please? Before you die right there on the sideline?

I'm serious, and I'm not trying to be a jerk. Maybe I come off as a jerk. Big shock there. But in all sincerity, this latest medical issue is another sign that Penn State football coach Joe Paterno needs to resign before he has the ugliest ending in coaching history.

The guy is 81. He's getting frail of health, as so many people in their 80s do. There's nothing wrong with that.

My problem with Paterno is his hubris, his denial, that he could die right there on a Saturday afternoon, turning Happy Valley into the world's largest wake. Or maybe he's not in denial. Maybe he's very well aware of the possibility, and he doesn't care. Either way it's an ugly thought, a terrible idea, and it's certainly not something I want to happen.

But it could. Paterno needs to realize that, and realize how horrible that would be for everyone involved, and get out before it actually does happen.

Or someone above him -- there is someone above him at Penn State, right? -- needs to realize it for him. And force him out.

Category: NCAAF
Tags: Joe Paterno
Posted on: May 2, 2008 9:45 am

Les Miles is one tough SOB

What did Ryan Perrilloux do?

Let the speculation begin, but let the bidding start high. Perrilloux wasn't kicked off the LSU team after being investigated for his alleged role in a counterfeit ring. He wasn't kicked off after his alleged role in a nightclub brawl. He wasn't kicked off the team after using a fake ID or skipping classes or team meetings.

He wasn't even a junior yet, Ryan Perrilloux. That's quite a rap sheet for a college sophomore. But even after all that, he was going to be a junior this upcoming season for LSU coach Les Miles.

Until Friday, when Miles -- or someone above Miles -- finally kicked Perrilloux off the team for not fulfilling "his obligation as an LSU student-athlete."

So what does that mean? It means Perrilloux messed up really bad this time, so bad that even a shameless huckster like Les Miles had no choice but to part with his starting quarterback.



Category: NCAAF
Posted on: April 24, 2008 12:53 pm

My new favorite player

Justin Boren is the man. He left Michigan, ripped Rich Rodriguez and then had the gonads to transfer to Ohio State?

I love it.

And that's not sarcasm. I sincerely love it. For one thing, I don't love R-Rod. Not after the way he left West Virginia, shredding documents and relationships along the way, and then arrived at Michigan and in one month on the recruiting trail was shadier than Lloyd Carr had been in decades.

So Boren calls R-Rod what he is -- a bad guy -- and then leaves. And then transfers to Michigan's biggest rival. Michigan fans are calling Boren all sorts of emasculatory names, but let's be serious: To leave Michigan as he did, and then to show up at Ohio State, shows titanic testicles.


Category: NCAAF
Posted on: February 15, 2008 7:21 am

Morning! Rich-Rod is a liar!

Let me ask you a serious question. If your wife and kids were physically threatened, would you try to protect them by going to police? Or would you just tell reporters from out-of-state newspapers and hope the threats were bogus? I'm not calling Rich Rodriguez a liar but ... oh. Right. The headline. I guess I already did.

Speaking of reasonable questions, here's another one: Does Mike Mussina's career become Hall-worthy when you consider he did it clean (he says ... and we agree) in a dirty era?

Speaking of the Yankees, here's another one: They changed the name of their spring home from a legend to a buffoon.

As if that crafty Coach K needed any help, he has been getting ideas from his time as the U.S. Olympics coach and using them to help Duke overachieve this season. Was that a nice sentence about Duke? By golly I believe it was.

Darius Miles can't make a basket, but he can still make it rain. I think I despise Darius Miles. And Dennis Dixon, pick a new role model you impressionable little knucklehead.

Holy crap I read this headline and I thought Zach Thomas died.

Turns out Thomas is alive and well, though he's about to make a date with the devil. The devil wears a hoodie.

Indiana is now officially trying to find a reason to fire Kelvin Sampson. I kind of thought Indiana already had that reason, but whatever. Any effort to replace Sampson with Mr. Clean, Dan Dakich, is a step in the right direction.

Pssst. Indiana! Here's your reason.

WEC welterweight champion Carlos Condit would like to unify his belt one day with the UFC champion. Part of me says that's like a member of the Durham Bulls wanting to face Johan Santana. But part of me thinks Condit can compete at the highest level.



Category: NCAAF
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