Posted on: April 8, 2010 9:01 am
Edited on: April 8, 2010 5:53 pm

Tiger's new commercial an exploitative disgrace

AUGUSTA, Ga. -- Just saw the new Tiger Woods Nike commercial and almost threw up.

Just in case you haven't seen it, Woods' father does a voiceover as the camera pans in on Woods' face. Woods says nothing, it's just his father talking. Woods stares unblinking at the camera as his father speaks.

His father, of course, is dead.

Now, there's bad taste, and then there's using your dead father to move product.

Throughout this entire scandal, I've defended Woods (somewhat) from all the hypocrites who chastise Woods for his infidelity, while many of them are bagging their own women on the side. I also thought Woods' apology tour was sincere.

Then came this disgusting commercial.

He lost me and he likely lost the few defenders he had.

Woods needs to keep a low profile and play golf. He doesn't need to use his dead pops to sell more golf clubs.

(Ed. note: The video that used to be in this entry is no longer available)

Category: Golf
Tags: Tiger Woods
Posted on: December 11, 2009 7:11 pm
Edited on: December 11, 2009 7:56 pm

More Tiger bombshells coming?

That's the only reason Tiger Woods is leaving golf indefinitely. The only reason. There's more stuff that's going to hit the fan.

Woods wouldn't go out like this; soft and small, over just cheating. He's too strong and arrogant. Too tough. His temporary departure means something else is up.

Forgive me for being cynical but there are either many more alleged babes and alleged porn stars about to declare they, too, slept with Woods or something worse has happened like the wife is leaving his ass.

This isn't how Woods rolls. He doesn't quit like this unless there's another shoe (9-iron) about to drop.

The bottom line is this is the end of the Woods as we've known him. He'll be back to golf but he'll be back a smaller and much more damaged man, right or wrong.

He went from an eternal to a punchline in a matter of days.

Now he's given up golf for who knows how long?

He'll be back after an Oprah appearance.

But first that other (golf) shoe has to fall.

It's coming any day now.

Category: Golf
Tags: Tiger Woods
Posted on: November 30, 2009 11:10 am
Edited on: November 30, 2009 11:43 am

Tiger? Noooooooooooo...

Tiger Woods? Possibly skirt chasing? Absolutely no way.

Completely false. Why would such an icon, such a perfect and pristine young man ever have wandering eyes?

Just don't believe it. A man look at another woman? Nooooooooo.

Completely false. It's slander. It's libel. It's libel wrapped in slander surrounded by nonsense.

Of course Woods just happened to crash into a fire hydrant at 2 a.m. Who doesn't do that? I did it last night. Damn thing caught me completely by surprise. Those hydrants are faster than they look.

In fact, it's likely the hydrant crashed into Woods. Hydrants in Florida are known to move at 20 mph.

But seriously, all of this over another woman? Noooooooooooo.

John Daly? Of course you'd believe it.

Tiger Woods? Nooooooooooo.

Never, ever would Woods do anything morally wrong. Never, ever, ever.

Shame on you poopy heads for thinking such a thing.

Woods, chasing non-wife nooky? Not Woods. Absolutely false. Don't believe it for a second.

He's perfect. He only has eyes for one nanny at a time.

Woods? Possibly imperfect?


Category: Golf
Tags: Tiger Woods
Posted on: November 20, 2009 12:52 pm

Sports Jerk of the Week: Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods, while at the Australian Masters, tossed his club into the ground out of anger following a shot he didn't like. The club then bounced into a crowd of people.

Luckily, no one was injured, but how is it that Woods constantly gets a pass for his childish and petulant acts?

Not only that it seems fans actually applaud his childishness. Would there be such support for a baseball player who tossed his bat and it someone ended up hitting some fan or other player?

Woods behaves this way all...the...time and he gets away with constantly.

But then again, he is Tiger Woods.

He can do whatever he wants?


Category: Golf
Tags: Tiger Woods
Posted on: September 1, 2009 2:46 pm

Good riddance, John Daly

John Daly quit yet again.

Some years ago Daly filed a lawsuit over a column I wrote when working in Florida claiming defamation.

The suit was recently tossed out by a judge who ruled information in my column was either accurate or Constitutionally protected. It was believed Daly would appeal the ruling.

But no appeal ever came and none will since the appeal deadline was missed. Just this week we learned our victory was final as Daly and his counsel dismissed his appeal. The appellate court had stated Daly could have no more expensions beyond Aug. 31.

This is my opinion (please don't sue John) but Daly either doesn't have the money for the appeal or the stomach to continue a fight he knew he'd lose.

Maybe both.

So the actual lawsuit aspect of the case is over. It's done. Daly lost. Daly quit.

Daly failed thanks to a group of lawyers who fervently backed the newspaper, believe in free speech and are damn talented (can you hear "God Bless America" playing in the background?).

But this isn't completely over, Big John.

You still owe, according to a judge's ruling, $271,763.99.

At least.

And, as I've told you before, don't forget the .99 cents.
Category: Golf
Tags: John Daly
Posted on: August 2, 2009 4:43 pm

Buick Open

Went to watch the Buick Open and a Jets game broke out.

The gallery at the 17th hole sounds like the crowd at an NFL contest.

There's a few chants of "you suck" by some in the gallery.

Is the Buick Open in Philadelphia?

It's a joke, Philly sports fans.

Seriously, the loud and obnoxious behavior of those fans at the Buick was very noticeable.

Just how much beer can someone consume before noon?

By the way, it looked like Tiger Woods, after a shot he didn't like, said, "Bi---."

Category: Golf
Posted on: June 25, 2009 4:50 pm
Edited on: June 25, 2009 4:55 pm

John Daly owes $271,763...

and .99 cents.

The short version of a long story. John Daly sued me and a former newspaper I wrote for over a factually accurate column written about him some years ago. Recently a judge threw out his case. Now, this week, a judge ruled Daly must pay the attorney fees for the lawyers who defended me and the newspaper. Those costs amount to $271,763.99.

Don't forget the .99 cents.

That's important.

Nice job John. Keep up the good work.

Thank you George Gabel, the best lawyer in this history of the world, who went nine-iron to nine-iron with Daly and won (and keeps winning), and thank you Florida Times-Union for the obvious.

I won't gloat or make fat jokes about Daly or say he's one of the biggest disgraces in the history of professional sports. I won't say any of that. I really won't. I won't say a word. I'll keep nice and quiet.

I'll only say this: all forms of payment are accepted, John, including Visa and Mastercard.

No checks though.

Category: Golf
Tags: John Daly
Posted on: June 22, 2009 10:56 am

Of course, now that I say Tiger Woods is done...

He starts a charge. The guy is unreal.

Sometimes I believe the only thing that could stop Woods is a stake through the heart.
Category: Golf
Tags: U.S. Open
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