SEC to File Charges Against Mark Cuban
Dallas, Texas - In an apparent move to force the Dallas Mavericks to draft more players from the SEC to the NBA, charges have been formally filed against Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban. Said Cuban, "I didn't know a college conference had legal rights to sue because an NBA team doesn't draft enough players from each given college conference."
Cuban plans to file appeals with the NBA League Office (which hates him), in federal district court, and with Barrack Obama (just in case, cuz he really likes basketball).
After the charges were explained to Cuban, his only response was, "Oh, THAT SEC. Never mind." He has since dropped his appeals and has gone into hiding.
A representative of the Securities Exchange Commission said they may have to drop the insider trading charges since Devin Harris just kicked Jason Kidd's butt in a Mavs loss to the Nets. A quote from the anonymous spokesman, "It is obvious that Mark Cuban did not profit from this trade."