Probably pretend to be a reporter along with a bunch of stupid questions or stuff to make them angry. Ask James Harrison about Roger Goodell and ask him for the same amount of money he had to pay him. Give a butterfinger to Ike Taylor. Ask Ben which bar does he go to to pick up chicks. Tell troy his locks arn't real and pull his hair, Ask the Front 7 how does it feel to know I got more sacks than they got today at the Super Market.Ask Ryan Clark if his inspiration for knocking players out was boxing. Toss something to Mike Wallace, if he catches it....say you have better hands here than you did out on the football field. If he drops it, that is the kind of day you had. Ask all the offensive lineman which one plans to get hurt in the next game. Ask the ones who got injured if they are faking it so they sit on their lazy bum. Tell Tomlin he owes you a dollar every time he says standard in the press conference.
I'd also like to try to just hide and out of no where, take a plastic horse around the locker room. While the players get interviewed put it on their shoulder.
Well, it looks like we have a lot of thiefs here. Stealing Jerseys wins out as the #1 thing to do. #2 is after announcing you are the new owner, undressing and performing a hernia exam while showering with each of the players. Good way to introduce yourself I suppose, as well as get to know your players. By the way, I had my money on giving out game balls.