The Ditch

You Know You're An Avid Hockey Fan If.......

• Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an Eggo in the middle of the table.
• You reprimand your children with "minors," "majors" and "misconducts."
• When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns green, you stop.
• When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns red, you get really excited and chant, "He shoots!  He scores!"
• I nstead of duct tape, you use hockey tape to fix everything.
• You call a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame a "pilgrimage."
• You went into a bank because it advertised "Free Checking"....and walked out disappointed.
• You can pronounce anything in French, yet you have no idea what it means.
• Every time you hear a siren you wonder who scored.
• You're not allowed to play chess simply because the first time you played, you misunderstood the meaning of the word "Check."
• Everything in your wardrobe is your team's colors.
• Your closet is divided into 2 sections:  HOME and AWAY
• You make biscuits in dimensions of 3" by 1."
• You burn the biscuits black.
• You play a game with one of the biscuits.
• You deck the guy who says, "Check, please."
• You own a Zamboni.
• You keep your Zamboni in the garage while your main car stays in the driveway.
• Your calendar only runs from October to June.
• You wonder how you will get through July, August, and September.
• When someone says, "two minutes" you respond, "What for!?!"