Blessedly, MLB.com offers the Internetter the chance to exchange redeemable currency for personalized jerseys. More blessedly for our purposes, MLB.com allows us to preview what said personalized jersey would look like if purchased!
All of that has led us by the hand to the 'Truth in Personalized Jerseys' project, which is a righteous grassroots effort to veneer the officially licensed product with some truth -- unsparing, unleavened truth.
Let us begin!
In the interest of letting this walking tour of truth unfold without interruption, we'll provide the product documentation at the outset ...
1 -- The team that has poached its way to consequence; 2 -- The saboteur's tax-supported quad-A team; 3 -- The team that, if the postseason had run long enough, would eventually have been reduced by its discontents to using just two players: Andy Pettitte and Raul Ibanez. Stupid 95-win losers; 4 -- He hasn't played for them in some time, but his numbed countenance continues to ruin everything -- moreso than ill-advised contracts, injuries, the misrule of Bobby V or chicken/beer/video games ever could; 5 -- The team that hates nothing so much as an overfilled interest-bearing account and the fan base's proper response, should they wind up with no greater return on investment than an exorbitantly expensive third-place finish; 6 -- The champs; 7 -- The postseason disappointment that endured Operation Shutdown (non-Derek Bell division); 8 -- A stern warning against whatever irrational exuberance that's out there; 9 -- Some quality awards-based trolling, and; 10 -- Forthcoming marketing slogan in the likely event that there is nothing left to market ...