The Brewers' racing Italian sausage is AWOL

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

Pictured second from left, Wisconsin's most subversive encased meat. (Getty Images)

News, as breaking as it is urgent: One of the Milwaukee Brewers' racing sausages is missing after a long night of drinking.

Here's the dirty from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel (this, by the way, is guaranteed to be the most championship excerpt you'll read today):

The 7-foot-long weenie was lying unused in a backroom at the Milwaukee Curling Club's new Cedarburg location during a fundraiser on Feb. 16 with beer-tasting and curling, and a witness saw the sausage walk out of the south door about 7:45 p.m., Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz said Wednesday. The Italian walked into TJ Ryan's in Cedarburg an hour later and also made an appearance around midnight at The Roadhouse Bar and Grill.

At last report, the less troublesome remainder of the Racing Sausages -- i.e, the bratwurst, hot dog and chorizo -- were following company policy just fine. But the Italian sausage, who, let's be honest, has a history of insubordination, is loose on the streets of Sconnie and quite possibly bringing Hell with him.

Somewhere, Bernie Brewer is oiling his guns for war.

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