While the sadly typical modernist may find himself preoccupied with the theory of "peak oil," in which we begin to exhaust our sources of petroleum, the superior and right-wise modernist finds himself concerned with "peak alcohol," in which we begin to exhaust our sources of life-giving and life-sustaining potable ethanol. The proper response to the night sweats that necessarily result in thinking too much about peak alcohol is to cherish every drop, much as one cherishes a baby's first smile or news that the local auto dealership has once again purchased too much inventory.
On this urgent topic, a man -- nay, a gentleman -- at Wednesday night's Astros-Mariners hostilities did not let the reality of a soiled baseball in his cup of wholesome alcohol stop him from choking down said alcohol with the zeal of a revival-goer. Please admire the kind of pluck and dedication to cause upon which our republic was built:
And courtesy of Crawfish Boxes come this essential "alternative chugging angle" ...
In conclusion, the hands that built America are also the hands that drink a beer with a baseball in it.