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Cardinals land haymakers on Brewers, retain EOB title

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

Yadier Molina and the Cardinals will be keeping the EOB Heavyweight Championship.
Yadier Molina and the Cardinals will be keeping the EOB Heavyweight Championship. USATSI

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The Brewers put up a fight -- they forced the series in St. Louis to a decisive third game on Sunday -- but eventually the champion Cardinals proved too much for them. In topping the Brewers by a tally of 4-2, the mighty Cardinals retained the Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

The "Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship"? What's that? That's this ...

Since the concept of championship belts is cool in boxing, MMA and sports entertainment (aka pro wrestling), the Eye on Baseball team has decided to create a Heavyweight Championship belt for the 2013 season.

As the defending World Series champions, the Giants entered the season with the strap. From there, here are our rules.

1. A team must win a series from the champion to take the belt. One game isn't going to cut it, considering it's a 162-game season and teams all view the season in terms of series.

2. If the belt-holder splits a series (two- or four-game series), it retains. Much like on a draw in boxing or a count-out situation in pro wrestling, you don't get the belt unless you actually beat the champion. A tie isn't good enough.

3. If, at the end of the regular season, the belt-holder does not make the playoffs -- and due to the dynamics of this thing, that scenario is entirely plausible -- said team will be stripped of the title for not qualifying for the postseason. Then the winner of the playoffs -- the World Series -- takes the belt and the title into the offseason.

So how, exactly, did the champs retain both belt and title? They did so by landing a series of well-timed, blood-spattering haymakers. Witness these late-inning highlights from Sunday's action ...

The Cardinals -- are they from St. Louis or are they from ... parts unknown?!

Next up for the champs is a trip to the West Coast. They'll defend the belt against the Padres in a three-game set in Petco that starts Monday.

And now to our Gregorian Calendar of Champions, which will reflect the fact that the Cardinals have now ensured they'll hold on to the belt through at least May 20 ...

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