Insofar as the 2013 Marlins are concerned, the signposts of desperation aren't hard to find. At times, they've struggled to give away what have become the "communicable disease" of event tickets, and now they're resorting to, well, whatever this is:
That's right: The Marlins have concocted extra-special discounts for friends and relatives of Nationals lefty Gio Gonzalez, who, it must be noted, has never played for the Marlins. Gonzalez is a native of the Miami area, but, well, so are a lot of major-league ballplayers. Perhaps the Marlins have decided the best way to move their rancid product is to co-opt native sons according to the schedule.
So must one prove that he or she is board-certified brosephs with Gio Gonzalez in order to receive the discount? This writer's brief exchange with a Marlins customer-service rep provides no clear answer:
It's possible that, upon contacting the above email address, due diligence would be performed and that only board-certified friends and relatives would be permitted to proceed. At that point, though, I felt I had undertaken enough shoe-leather journalism for the day.
Did you once have an airport layover in Miami? Then the Marlins might just provide a group discount in your honor!
(Wink of CBS eye: Reddit Baseball)