When Jack Zduriencik, whose last name I no longer have to copy and paste, first ascended to the role of Mariners GM, much optimism heralded his arrival. Yet while "Jack Z" has undoubtedly done some good things during his tenure, the prevailing reality is that the Mariners haven't been of real consequence since 2009, Zduriencik's first full season on the job.
Even so, there's nothing stopping us from fondly remembering those days when Jack Z wielded odd sentence construction, oozed a trail of wrinkly green widsom behind him and inspired multitudes. In those days -- days of hope, if not thunder -- he was ... Zoda:
Acquire many DHs, we shall.
All praise be to @AgainstKyle for his artistry.