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American hero A-Rod pins Red Sox, Yanks retain EOB heavyweight title

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

All hail the EOB heavyweight champs and their fearless leader. (USATSI)
All hail the EOB heavyweight champs and their fearless leader. (USATSI)

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Given all the drama surrounding Sunday night's Yankees-Red Sox hostilities, you may have missed what's really important. And what's really important is that, by prevailing in the series finale, the Yankees have retained the cherished Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

Wait, the "Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship"? What's that? That, readers, is this ...

Since the concept of championship belts is cool in boxing, MMA and sports entertainment (aka pro wrestling), the Eye on Baseball team has decided to create a Heavyweight Championship belt for the 2013 season.

As the defending World Series champions, the Giants entered the season with the strap. From there, here are our rules.

1. A team must win a series from the champion to take the belt. One game isn't going to cut it, considering it's a 162-game season and teams all view the season in terms of series.

2. If the belt-holder splits a series (two- or four-game series), it retains. Much like on a draw in boxing or a count-out situation in pro wrestling, you don't get the belt unless you actually beat the champion. A tie isn't good enough.

3. If, at the end of the regular season, the belt-holder does not make the playoffs -- and due to the dynamics of this thing, that scenario is entirely plausible -- said team will be stripped of the title for not qualifying for the postseason. Then the winner of the playoffs -- the World Series -- takes the belt and the title into the offseason.

So how did the champion Yankees successfully defend the strap? With class, dignity and moral uprightness. A-Rod, who has been marinated in all three of those qualities, was such a gentleman that he entered the ring wearing a high-end tailored suit ...

From that moment on, the Red Sox had no prayer, being as they were out-classed in the extreme.

And that brings us to our hallowed Roll Call of Champions ...

On Tuesday, the champion Yanks, as part of a four-game series against the challenger Blue Jays, play a doubleheader, so that means the belt and title are secure through at least Aug. 20.

In conclusion:

 
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