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LOOK: The increasingly vampiric Sammy Sosa

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

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When last we laid eyes upon retired slugger Sammy Sosa, he was in the process of being through with Pinterest before you knew what to do with Pinterest.

Now, though, it seems the physical transformations merely hinted at in previous images have taken full bloom. Courtesy of Yahoo!'s Jeff Passan comes this picture, which is worth far in excess of a thousand words ...

That folks, is demonstrably a vampire. It's the tailored suit, it's the pocket square the color of fresh platelets, it's the drained pallor of the face, it's the hint of a widow's peak at the thrust of his hair, which he just finished slicking back with hot candle tallow in the upstairs bathrooom of Bran Castle, nestled deep in the Transylvanian Alps.

It's the menacing regality of all of it, really.

So in the service of fully convincing you of Sosa's vampiricism and in the interests of properly placing him in the vampire iconography, I leave you with this ...

(Wink of CBS eye: @ekaycbs)

 
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