WATCH: Baseball video games, then and now

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

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The thing about technology is that its ongoing evolutions render the old models not only obsolete but also ridiculous. Sometimes the obsolescence is such that our culture costumes the antiquated thing in irony, like giant and unwieldy cell phones or Schlitz or Engelbert Humperdinck. Such is the case with these, our video games.

Let it be said that I, your author, know absolutely nothing about current incarnations of video games. Nothing. I had an Atari 2600 when I was a kid, which is now a crude stone tool used solely to field-dress mastodons. With that said, I can appreciate what follows, which is a YouTube escapade entitled "Evolution of Baseball Video Games." You might be surprised to learn that it concerns the evolution of baseball video games.

Please drink deeply ...

Now some observations on what we have just witnessed ...

0:02 - The technology existed to include, say, baselines, but I like to think of this intoxicating green swath as a nod to baseball's alleged pastoral origins. Both pixelated players you see here soon after died of syphilis.

0:04 - This is the point in human history at which scientists harnessed the earth's core, which is why Intellivision was able to put infield dirt on the screen.

0:05 - Pretty sure that guy is charging the right fielder.

0:12 - Even video games in those days used multi-purpose stadiums. This is why your father was silent and distant at the dinner table.

0:19 - Robot voice or broadcaster being drowned in a bathtub?

0:23 - The multiple camera angles are a nice, progressive touch, but at a cost of placing the mound nine feet from the batter's box? Seems perilous.

0:29 - Gary Pettis!

0:32 - Among companies presently out of business, none is as out of business as "Jaleco" is.

0:35 - College-baseball ping!

0:39 - Attention, brosephs: The future happened in the past ...

0:50 - This is the game that put Jaleco and quite possibly Bear Stearns out of business.

0:58 - It seems the broadcaster survived that attempted bathtub-drowning and then started smoking thousands of cigarettes a day.

1:33 - Bull***t

1:40 - Steroids.

1:47 - The lighting is gloomy and the air choked with haze because nuclear war.

2:10 - Why aren't the Dodgers' uniform numbers presented in characteristic red on the fronts of their jerseys? Thanks a lot, A-Rod.

2:50 - It's so Mets for them to be undertaking capital improvements during the game.

3:14 - It bears repeating that the Marlins' logo looks like an "M" flipping the bird, which would be truth in advertising of a sort.

***

Thank you, Cut4, for drawing this to our attention. And thank you, video games, for making us a better people.

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