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Angels 'fireball' Blue Jays, win EOB Heavyweight Championship

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

Josh Hamilton and the Angels now own the strap. (USATSI)
Josh Hamilton and the Angels now own the strap. (USATSI)

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Shocking news, as sources have confirmed that the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have, somewhere in the wilds of Canada, completed a three-game sweep of the Blue Jays. In doing so, they have laid indisputable claim to the Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

Wait, the "Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship"? What's that? That, readers, is this ...

Since the concept of championship belts is cool in boxing, MMA and sports entertainment (aka pro wrestling), the Eye on Baseball team has decided to create a Heavyweight Championship belt for the 2013 season.

As the defending World Series champions, the Giants entered the season with the strap. From there, here are our rules.

1. A team must win a series from the champion to take the belt. One game isn't going to cut it, considering it's a 162-game season and teams all view the season in terms of series.

2. If the belt-holder splits a series (two- or four-game series), it retains. Much like on a draw in boxing or a count-out situation in pro wrestling, you don't get the belt unless you actually beat the champion. A tie isn't good enough.

3. If, at the end of the regular season, the belt-holder does not make the playoffs -- and due to the dynamics of this thing, that scenario is entirely plausible -- said team will be stripped of the title for not qualifying for the postseason. Then the winner of the playoffs -- the World Series -- takes the belt and the title into the offseason.

So how did the Angels escape the sovereign nation of Canada with both belt and title? They did so with a little help from an illegal, secret, magic, evil, hot fireball. Check out this official game footage and see for yourself ...

As you can plainly see, that was an illegal, secret, magic, evil, hot fireball.

In any event, the Angels are now champs, and that brings us to our updated Roll Call of Champions ...

As for the Angels' first title defense, it starts Friday in Houston against the large and mighty Astros, who have leveled their steely gaze upon ... the Eye On Baseball Heavyweight Championship.

 
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