Your fake Doug Fister movie poster of the day

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

MORE: NYC tabloids run same Ellsbury headline

As the observer of baseball is well aware, rangy right-hander Doug Fister was recently traded from the Tigers to the Nationals. As the observer of crappy movies is well aware, Washington, D.C. -- home of those Nats -- has of late been the setting for multiple films of culture-murdering awfulness.

In keeping with all of that and courtesy of Nats Archive comes this bit of wonderment ...

On account of his mid-grade resemblance to Guy Pearce, Mr. Fister (that rhymes!) seems capable of carrying a vehicle such as this.

You see, Doug Fister is plainly a loose cannon, which in turn causes headaches for the precinct commander -- what with the brass always blaming him for Fister's rule-bending and off-duty vigilantism.

This one, though ... Doug Fister is too close to this one. Something tells me that Det. Fister isn't really off the case even though Sgt. Moses Orthodox already told him to hand over his badge and service revolver after that car chase ended with an exploded hospital.

He'll get his man, I feel sure, but at what cost? Will he lose a part of himself along the way?

(Wink of CBS eye: @donhammack)

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