In the 1950s and 1960s, leisured psychologists, in an effort to realize the dreams upon which this republic was founded, taught chickens to play baseball. This undertaking not only kept at-risk chickens off the streets but also yielded the following action-news GIF:
Smart, veteran hitter, that one. After fouling (preemptive: "fowling") off the first offering, the feathered batsman goes with the outside pitch, laces it to right-center and then rewards himself with some smokeless tobacco.
It is the winter, and there is no baseball here. So it falls to chicken-baseball to sustain us. For we are but starving pullets.