If you do nothing else today -- and, let's be honest, you won't do anything else today -- watch this five-minute video that instructs the 1980s-era Metrodome concessions worker on the finer points of the craft.
Bear scarcely worthy witness:
Did they show a clip of an Oilers-Saints game? I think they showed a clip of an Oilers-Saints game.
Anyhow, here's a non-exhaustive list of representative words, phrases and in some cases full subject-predicate pairings uttered during the Betamax video above:
- "Champions of beer and hot dogs"
- "You'll enter the dome through the loading dock entrance"
- "A smock"
- "Hot spills"
- "Precision team"
- "Coming away from the sinks with determined looks on their faces"
And, finally and most resplendently:
On this day, know hope: For there is a Part 2:
In triumphant conclusion:
Go forth and tell the people what you have seen on this day.
(Wink of CBS eye: @FSNtylermason)