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PHOTO: Your putrid Marlins hat of the day

By Dayn Perry | Baseball Writer

MORE: FA tracker: position players | FA tracker: pitchers

As you'll soon see, the essence of the following example of licensed, textile-based merchandise can be described as being, "thoroughly and remorselessly Marlins." Bear nauseated witness:

I think -- think -- the designer was going for some sort of Cousteau-ian undersea backdrop, but the final output looks like ... what? A pizza being boiled? The aurora borealis after taking illegal street drugs and jumping off a building? Sauron's lava lamp?

The only thing certain is that, yes, that "M" is still flipping you off.

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