Orioles outfielder Nick Markakis, as we have known him, is typically close-cropped and clean-shaven, as strongly encouraged by local ordinances. Now, though, Markakis has emerged from his winter slumber and revealed himself to have a fully germinated beard and mane of arresting dimensions.
Please bear smothered witness:
The educated observer will note that this menu of grooming choices is known colloquially as the "Swampy Thicket Maximus."
Finally, for your measured and investigative consideration ...
To be sure, I'm not suggesting that Nick Markakis is in actuality Rafi from "The League." Rather, what I'm suggesting is that Nick Markakis is in actuality Rafi from "The League."