To be sure, it was widely believed that the excesses of the 2013 Red Sox rendered beards a thing no longer interesting or funny, but the Potomac Nationals are here to rescue the timeless facial accessory. How's that? Consider that they they plan to give away a Jayson Werth "bobblebeard" that includes actual fake beard hair (yes, I said "actual fake" and something called a Jayson Werth Wolf-a-rine.
The pièce de résistance, though, is a ritual of indeterminate origins known as a "beard-tasting." Here's how Potomac Nats spokesman Bryan Holland explained the concept to Dan Steinberg of the Bog:
"A beard tasting is when fans sign up to be blindfolded and sample different substances right off of the beards to win cash. You've never seen this before anywhere."
I suppose that's not quite as "all-in" as having people actually eat beards, but it's close enough to perfect for me and mine.
At this point, my hope is that the foodstuffs in question are not something that will remain disappointingly segregated from the beard hair, like a donut or a slice of pizza. May I strongly suggest something that will, by dint of its texture and components, necessarily absorb the beard as part of its flavor profile -- for instance, a ladle of chowder or some steamy beans.