As every gentleman knows, the hair atop one's head is at heart a vessel for communication. For instance, a sensible application of Brylcreem suggests a balanced investment portfolio, just as plunging sideburns paired with a fully germinated mustache evoke a predilection for making love on sofas.
Similarly, what follows is an example of the sub-sub-genre of "head-hair as sports loyalty oath" ...
Perhaps I'm about to step in a steaming pile of assumption, but I'm going to hazard that the boulevardier pictured above is a rooter of the St. Louis Cardinals.
Now ask yourselves: What is my hair saying about me, and is it saying it loudly enough?
(Wink of CBS eye: @MattSebek)