It is a True Internet Fact that names "Kate" and "Upton" placed in tantalizing proximity to each other -- as in, "Kate Upton" -- yield Hot Internet Clicks. So it is with a sense of mission that we present the following Justin Verlander-related excerpt from a recent dispatch in the New York Post (i.e., what the Good Times read to find out about the Good Times). Please regard:
The most frequent explanations for the sudden woes of the Detroit Tigers ace this season concern his declining fastball velocity or a possible undiagnosed physical ailment.
But what if the problem has nothing to do with his right arm and everything to do with the buxom blonde on his arm?
If Verlander has been jinxed — or distracted, more likely — into the worst stretch of his career by girlfriend Kate Upton, it would not be the first time an athlete had encountered a major slump around the time he was romantically linked with the swimsuit pin-up.
The answer to this question, which is "no," is as simple as it is obvious. However, such a correlation-causation error shall not prevent us from back-drafting on this particular narrative and the plenary SEO powers therein.
In conclusion ...
In further conclusion ...
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