Know this: The Golden Stick Wiffle Ball League (GSWL) recently held its 2014 All-Star Game, and the embedded video below will provide you, the page-viewer, with color television highlights of the event in question.
Come with us, won't you?
I would hereby like to participate!
Too long of a run time for you, the busy executive? Because we here at Eye On Baseball are automatic for the people, we've provided you with some helpful time-stamped annotations ...
1:35 - Nastiest pitch nominee
1:56 - Tater
2:38 - Spank
3:04 - Nastiest pitch nominee
3:35 - Nice job of getting the bat on it
3:58 - In which YOU are struck in the face by a pitch
5:00 - Defensive artistry
5:43 - Possible violation of laws of physics
7:01 - Line drive-induced enthusiasm
7:48 - Dong-piece
8:16 - Totally unfair slider (also nastiest pitch nominee)
8:53 - Unorthodox pitching motion leads to fortuitous defensive positioning
10:01 - Nastiest pitch nominee
Regarding the exploits you see above, NPR notes that the New England-based GSWL has plans to become a professional league in the near future, with redeemable currency involved and everything.
With that in mind, please commence recalibrating your life plans and career ambitions.