Gentleman's Dilemma: Souvenir ball or stroller holding spawn?

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In the course of parenthood, the producer of human offspring is likely to be confronted with a quandary: submit to evolutionary cues and see to the ongoing safety of said spawn or take leave from one's assigned duties in the service of procuring a souvenir cowhide orb? For the gentleman you're about to meet, the decision was not a particularly difficult one (hint: eyes on the red stroller thingy beyond the outfield wall) ... 

To be fair, it was really the hill's fault. 

The upside is that this lady wasn't around to deliver her reproachful, lame-wad glares.

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