Hey, you need to read the essay Joe Kelly wrote in elementary school
Cardinals right-hander Joe Kelly had big plans as a young man. Please do read about those plans.
The Twitter feed of Cardinals right-hander and hail-fellow-well-met Joe Kelly reveals that he was once a youngster of sprawling ambition. But don't take my word for it. Instead, please do read the essay -- a portrait of the hurler as a young man -- that Joe Kelly wrote as an elementary school student.
Yes, it's from way back yonder in June, but you need to shut up about that and read this:
May we all be handsome home run hitters who live with our parents until we get to be Cal Ripken's age, at which point we walk into the sea and quickly spawn two generations of babies and then swim among the ocean fauna until we turn 80, at which point we come back to the land. May we all one day be Joe Kelly.
If those are "B-grade" dreams, then by all means keep me and mine off the honor roll of this life.
(Wink of CBS eye: @Johnotryin)