Kyle Farnsworth on the art and science of brawling

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The recent Carlos Quentin-Zack Greinke dust-up, which resulted in a broken collarbone for the latter, has been the topic of much discussion around baseball. As the Tampa Tribune notes, the Rays are among those talking about what a pitcher should do to protect himself in the event of a spirited mound-charging.

Alex Cobb suggested that, in the event of such hostilities, he'd take shelter behind the person of Jeremy Hellickson. Here's what Hellickson had to say about all of that:

"And we’re going to hide behind Farnsy."

"Farnsy" would be Kyle Farnsworth, and Kyle Farnsworth would be a pitcher who knows a thing or two about beating opposing ass. 

First, I would submit into evidence Farnsworth's maltreatment of Kansas City's Jeremy Affeldt dated July 18, 2005 when he was pitching for Detroit (AP) ...

Not pictured: impact. When Lance Parrish is an emergency first-responder, you know it's serious.

Second, I proudly present Farnsworth the pugilist's pièce de résistance, which is his ritual abuse of Cincinnati's Paul Wilson in 2003 while pitching and punching for the Cubs ...

At this point, I have no doubt you're thinking, "This Kyle Farnsworth sounds like the kind of human thunderclap who once, at great personal hazard, broke up a bulldog riot." About that you would be correct.

What's the secret to throwing beefs according to Mr. Farnsworth? Again, the Tampa Tribune:

"You kind of just react to what the hitter’s going to do. Pretty much that’s it. You can think about and pre-plan, but in the heat of the moment you don’t know what’s going to happen and just react to the situation. ...

"I’m not going to let someone come at me. I’m going to defend myself. Everyone is going to be different. That’s me. If someone comes at me I’m going to protect myself. I’m not going to run from anybody. We’ll go from there."

Sound advice, so long as you're 6-4, 230 and graced with weapons-grade soup-bones.

In conlusion, summary and celebration, feel free to make the following your desktop background ...

CBS Sports Writer

Dayn Perry has been a baseball writer for CBS Sports since early 2012. Prior to that, he wrote for FOXSports.com and ESPN.com. A member of the BBWAA, He's the author of three books, the most recent being... Full Bio

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