Baseball needs to put freeze on November Fall Classics

It was brutal in Detroit and St. Louis in 2006. Snow forced Colorado indoors while preparing for Boston in 2007. And we just witnessed the first suspended game in World Series history.

The time is coming when we'll look back on this 46-hour Game 5 interruption as a minor inconvenience. We will be dog-paddling to stay afloat in some biblical-proportion flood, or losing fingers to frostbite in the teeth of a World Series-stopping blizzard, when we do.

Because of next spring's World Baseball Classic, which pushes the regular-season schedule back a week, next year's World Series is scheduled to begin on Oct. 28.

So the earliest it can end is Nov. 1 (with a four-game sweep). It may run until at least Nov. 5 (if it extends to seven games).

Or much later if something absolutely wacky and unheard of happens in early November like, gee, I dunno ... the stunning development of winter actually arriving on schedule in the Midwest and Northeast?

Look, Selig actually has had several good ideas in recent years. His latest came during Game 5. His mandate that there was no way a World Series title would be decided in a rain-shortened game was the executive equivalent of putting the sweet spot of the bat on a hanging breaking ball.

But now, he needs to have another good idea.

He needs to dust off that glorious old "best interests of baseball" power a commissioner once had and start chopping off-days from next year's schedule so he can move the World Series up.

And then he needs to make a blood oath that the World Series, barring some catastrophic occurrence, will never bleed into November.

"As an amateur meteorologist, let me assure you it rains in November and it rains in mid-October," Selig said after suspending Game 5 the other night. "You can get warmer weather as the fall goes on."

As something of an amateur meteorologist myself, I've noticed that, generally speaking, other than in freak years, the weather generally gets worse week-by-week at this time of year. It's called "winter approaching."

There are plenty of reasons why it's difficult -- if not next to impossible -- to compress the schedule and, ding, ding, ding, you got it. They're all centered around economics:

•  You can shorten the season by a few games. Say, go back to 154 games in a season. But that costs the owners millions in revenue. So that's a non-starter.

•  You can continue to play 162 games but shorten the season by ordering doubleheaders. Again, owners won't give up the gate. And the players union zealously guards against too many day-night doubleheaders, which produce extra revenue but make for ridiculously long days.

•  You can eliminate off-days in October. But to do that, baseball actually would have to seize control back from Fox television. What a concept that would be, to be more concerned with the quality of play in a championship event than whether the Saturday night ratings are too low.

The best option clearly is start the season the last week of March, early enough where you can make up games lost to weather. Except, next year, you can't because of the World Baseball Classic (opening day in '09 is April 5). Which remains the game's autobahn toward exploring new economic frontiers and selling A-Rod jerseys in China. Which brings us back to eliminating October off-days in '09.

The other idea people float is the idea of moving the World Series to a neutral site, but the problem with that is ... wait, I know: It is JUST PLAIN STUPID.

Sure, the weather might be better in, say, New Orleans or the Fargodome, but this ain't a one-game sprint like the Super Bowl. How are you going to entice the people in one area to buy tickets for possibly seven games for two out-of-area teams? And furthermore, do you really want to rip these games away from fans in the competing cities?

Those in favor of that obviously do not live in Sarah Palin's pro-American parts of this country.

Anyway, before Game 5 started the other night in 44-degree weather with players prohibited from taking the field unless their ski-lift tickets were clearly visible, the press conference questions were more suited for a Ski-Doo Convention than a Fall Classic.

"Nowadays you've got a lot of stuff, like the clothing is different and very up-to-date as far as keeping the body heat in," Manuel said by way of explaining how hitters keep warm. "And you can do things like put baby oil on your body and stuff like that when you get ready to play."

From the Fall Classic to the edge of Bud and Charlie Make a Porno in no time flat.

Baseball in November -- or even this close to November -- is a concept nearly as obscene as Hummers on our highways and outsourcing our jobs overseas.

"I don't like the cold weather. I grew up in it but I'm not digging it at all," Rays manager Joe Maddon said just before the resumption of Game 5. "It would better if the Eagles and the Bucs would take the field today. It would be much more appropriate."

Amen.