World Series preparing enraged, er, engraved invitation for A-Rod

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Talked to the World Series. The cell phone connection was spotty at first, but once beyond that, it was clear that the old guy is rattled.

He's very grumpy, what with baseball's ludicrous schedule pushing him into November. And the umpires are taking up a lot of his time. Right now, he doesn't want any of them anywhere near his property. Already, he's contacted authorities seeking a restraining order.

But mostly he's nervous. Here he is, one Yankees win away from having to extend an invitation to Alex Rodriguez, and this idea scares him more than Tim McClelland umpiring third base.

He is not acquainted with this "A-Rod" in the least.

All he knows is, until now, A-Rod annually has been the postseason's version of Balloon Boy -- hiding in his closet while the whole world looks for him.

The closest contact they've had came in 2007, when Rodriguez attempted to train-hop the World Series by opting out of his Yankees contract smack in the middle of Game 4.

The disrespectful sonofagun landed flat on his back in a muddy ditch. The World Series laughed and chugged onward.

But now A-Rod is in the process of landing on his feet. He's hitting .407 this postseason with five home runs and 11 RBI.

In five previous postseason series since injecting himself into the Bronx, A-Rod, over 39 games, had just four homers and nine RBI.

Rodriguez is hitting, he is slugging, he is running the bases with abandon and he is playing with as much confidence as I've ever seen.

"I don't think I've ever seen a guy go through a stretch like this, especially in the postseason," Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira says. "Especially when you know the other team is trying to do everything it can to get him out."

Which is precisely what is making the World Series so jittery.

Unlike previous editions, the 2009 A-Rod model appears unstoppable.

But what will happen when he lands in the World Series?

Will he freak out and start attempting to opt out of his contract again? Will Kate Hudson and Madonna both show with tickets for the same seat?

Will he start babbling about Derek Jeter's leadership abilities?

The World Series popped a Rolaids antacid tablet.

"He's not missing pitches," Teixeira says. "He's one of the greatest hitters ever."

Which is precisely what makes the World Series chuckle.

Rodriguez is one of the greatest hitters ever. Yet after all this talk about his gargantuan ability to choke in October ... now everybody's amazed at how he's crushing the ball?

Really, how much of a surprise should it be? The law of averages said Rodriguez eventually was destined for a Mr. October sort of October, didn't it?

"We've all seen it before," Reggie Jackson says of great talent showing itself in October. "Carlos Beltran made $100 million out of it. We've seen it with Sandy Koufax. Bob Gibson. Lou Brock. I did it. Mickey Mantle hit 18 postseason home runs, all in the World Series. Lou Gehrig ... Johnny Bench hit four home runs against us in four games, didn't he? [Actually, it only seemed like it: Bench hit two homers en route to six RBI against the Yanks in the 1976 World Series]. Mickey Lolich did it against Bob Gibson. ...

"I don't think you need explanations. You just sit back and enjoy it."

Actually, hearing this, the World Series is more insulted than comforted.

Other than Beltran, every example Reggie lists comes from an actual World Series. Not from today's current elongated playoffs, when postseason records are snatched as frequently as cocktail party peanuts because guys like Jorge Posada have played in something like 2,500 postseason games while old-guard guys like Mantle played in exactly 65 -- and every single one of them was a World Series game, not in some "Division Series" concoction.

The World Series better get ready because A-Rod is coming its way. (AP)

Anyway, bastardized postseason "records" -- that's a different tangent for a different day. But just so you know, that's one of the World Series' biggest pet peeves.

As far as today, all the old guy knows is, he's getting ready for a freight train to hit when he opens his doors next Wednesday -- in Yankee Stadium, if the Los Angeles Angels don't get it going. There will be paparazzi, Hollywood actresses, Armani suits, groupies like Rudy Giuliani and, the way things are going, frozen ropes drilled by A-Rod zipping through the freezing night air.

The thought of this makes the World Series pause, and scratch his head. Hmmm. He's never really had to think that far outside the box before. Where would a World Series send an invitation to A-Rod, anyway?

But when someone that talented is playing with such an extreme level of confidence, especially a pathologically insecure guy like A-Rod, things change.

"I can't tell," Yankees outfielder Johnny Damon says when asked whether he can physically see a different look that says confidence in Rodriguez's eyes this October. "Just him rounding the bases, that's the different look."

You got that, Jack.

It hasn't gone unnoticed that Bold, New A-Rod is dressing at the very same locker here in Angel Stadium, on the very same patch of carpet, from where he delivered his "I played like a dog" valedictory four short years ago after the Yankees were bounced from the playoffs by the Angels.

"He's as good as anybody has performed up to this point at any playoff," Angels manager Mike Scioscia says. "With the clutch hits, he's played terrific defense, he's doing everything for those guys."

"What he's been able to do so far in this postseason has been really pretty incredible," Yankees manager Joe Girardi says. "It's just not the home runs, it's just not the RBI.

"You look at the base running last night, him scoring on that play [in the fourth inning, from third, on Robinson Cano's bouncer to second]. The infield's in, he gets a great jump. We give our players the ability to read plays. He's a great base runner. His defense has been exceptional. I think his leadership has been exceptional.

"It's more than just the numbers sometimes, what Alex does. He's been as good as anyone I can remember."

One of the most distinguishing things about this 2009 season is two of baseball's biggest icons, A-Rod and Manny Ramirez, being outed for using performance-enhancing drugs.

While Manny was off showering as the Dodgers were getting shocked in Game 4 of the NLCS -- literally, he shamefully was not in the dugout rooting his teammates on as Philadelphia was clocking them in the ninth inning -- A-Rod has been lathering up the Twins and Angels all postseason.

Game face on, he didn't bother talking to the media Wednesday. Which really is a mark for, rather than against him. Because historically, when A-Rod opens his mouth, his brain short circuits and bad things happen.

He did say one revealing thing following his three-hit, three-run Game 4 Tuesday that might have been right on the money. Regarding earlier comments from Jeter and Posada that they've noticed him being more comfortable this postseason, A-Rod nodded.

"I think for me, [it started] in spring training," he said. "Going all the way back to all the stuff I went through, the press conference [following revelations that he tested positive for steroids] and all that kind of stuff.

"Just, you know, not having any expectations and being in good place all year. So I felt comfortable."

The World Series hears this and cringes. The old man still is not comfortable with this new-age psychobabble. He only knows A-Rod by reputation. Which is why he's never before invited the guy.

"Let it go," Reggie Jackson advises those seeking detailed explanations for how one guy's street cred could change so dramatically in the biggest month of all. "It's fabulous to watch. Everyone loves to watch that kind of performance, whether it's CC Sabathia, Alex or Derek Jeter."

Intending to let it go, the World Series said he plans to contact this A-Rod, who has played in 2,166 regular-season games without ever having visited a Fall Classic, next week.

By the way, the only other player with whom the World Series is more unfamiliar is Ken Griffey Jr., who, with 2,638 games played, is the only active player out-ranking A-Rod on the "most games played without reaching a World Series" list.

The World Series thought about contacting him, too. But that'll have to wait. Right now, facing the cold November bite, the old man is headed out coat shopping.