Bizarre storylines that could add fuel to Hot Stove season

The Hot Stove League, ripped from the headlines -- headlines I'd love to see this winter (maybe even during the winter meetings next week in Indianapolis):

Commissioner Bud Selig hires marriage counselor to oversee NL West

The Padres were wrecked when owners John and Becky Moores entered divorce court and turned the club into a penny stock.

Who'll sign 21-year-old Cuban defector Aroldis Chapman? (AP)

The Dodgers are a catastrophe waiting to happen with Frank and Jamie McCourt in Splitsville, the fighting so ugly that they can't even agree on whether Jamie is a co-owner or fired employee.

The division is being systematically torn apart by disillusioned lovers, tawdry affairs and some of the worst acting this side of Desperate Housewives.

So I asked Selig at the World Series whether he's checked into the marital status of Arizona owner Ken Kendrick or new San Francisco owner Bill Neukom lately. Colorado's Charles Monfort? Selig offered a stern (and, I swear, mildly amused) "No comment" and silently scolded me with his scrunched up face. I took that to mean he's already got his people on it.

Poor Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti, charged with operating under these conditions, is doing his best to put things together for 2010. (I picture him sitting at his desk feverishly working the phones, undistracted, in the middle of a large office as dishes and glasses smash into the walls around him, Frank and Jamie raging).

The Dodgers publicly maintain that nothing will change as they build their team for 2010. Yet Frank McCourt, in a recent court filing, said his checking account balance had fallen as low as $167,000 last month. $167,000! That's not even enough to keep Tommy Lasorda in pasta. Jamie's lawyer immediately questioned, to Bill Shaikin of the Los Angeles Times, whether Frank can continue to maintain a $100 million Dodgers' payroll.

So the Dodgers elected to not offer arbitration to any of their impending free agents, not even Randy Wolf, who started Game 1 of the NL Division Series against St. Louis. That decision is shocking on a pure baseball level, at best, and one of the first signs of fallout from the War of the McCourts, at worst.

The rest -- aside from the Wolf decision -- was pretty much as expected because the Dodgers have a group of eight others arbitration-eligible who will cost them millions this winter: Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, Russell Martin, James Loney, Chad Billingsley, Jonathan Broxton, George Sherrill and Hong-Chih Kuo. Question is, will they have the dough to afford those raises?

And what about after that? The Dodgers' current rotation consists of Billingsley, Clayton Kershaw, Hiroki Kuroda and James McDonald, for crying out loud.

"They're going to patch things together," says one person familiar with the Dodgers' plans. "They feel the division is one where they don't need to make much of an investment. Their payroll is going to go up because of arbitration, but they're going to do nothing on the free-agent front. If they do anything, it will be short term.

"They're going to have a hell of a time putting together a pitching staff. It's not pretty."

As for the Giants, Diamondbacks and Rockies? Hey, an NL West marriage counselor at least could help remember to send flowers for important anniversaries, maybe at least delaying the potential for squabbling between the other spouses in the NL West.

Holliday in St. Louis as slugger re-signs with Cardinals

Because as terrific a match as Matt Holliday and the Cardinals were last year, it would be a shame if the lasting memory of Holliday in a Redbirds' uniform is him dropping that routine fly ball in Dodger Stadium during St. Louis' stunningly quick exit in the playoffs.

There are few places more suited to Holliday than St. Louis. Maybe Boston makes a hard charge if the Sox lose Jason Bay. Perhaps the Mets, who need to add an impact bat and just happen to have an opening in left field, shake some money loose as ownership crawls out from the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme. Maybe the Yankees make a play for Holliday if they lose Johnny Damon and/or Hideki Matsui. Not to go all Dr. Phil, but from a psychological perspective, Holliday clearly does not enjoy the big city hustle and the media crunch bustle.

The Giants are another potential landing spot, though sources say they're more interested in Bay than Holliday if they even decide to go in that direction.

Manny Ramirez notwithstanding, it's rare that a Scott Boras client re-signs in the same spot after playing the role of half-year rental, but in this instance, it sure makes the most sense if the Cards come up with the dollars.

Problem is, Albert Pujols is eligible for free agency after the 2011 season. And nobody on a St. Louis team can or should be paid more than Pujols, who is due $16 million in 2010 and another $16 million in 2011 assuming the Cards pick up his option.

Which means, as Boras turns the piggy bank over and shakes hard, the Cards are still going to have to make sure there's extra room in their budget even before they do re-sign Holliday.

"You'd like to have both type of players," GM John Mozeliak said last month. "We recognize the impact Holliday has had on our team. If not him [returning], it's going to have to be somebody else."

Pirates sign Cuban defector Aroldis Chapman after Yankees, Red Sox tighten budgets

Come on Pirates (or Royals or Marlins) ... dig into that pile of revenue sharing money you've been stockpiling over the past few years.

Chapman is the latest from the Sidd Finch/Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez/Daisuke Matsuzaka class, an exotic import who may (or may not be) all that. Chapman, 21, who is said to have hit 102 miles per hour on the radar gun, defected from Cuba last July and currently is a free agent.

And, of course, you know what that means: Everybody in baseball believes the Yankees or Red Sox will unleash their checkbook hounds and sign him.

Already, Chapman has visited Yankee Stadium (for Game 6 of the ALCS), thrown a bullpen session in Fenway Park for the Red Sox's viewing pleasure and has spoken with the Orioles and Mets as well.

Chapman was 0-1 with a 5.68 ERA pitching for Cuba in the World Baseball Classic last March.

No guarantees here -- other than we'll see him soon in a rich man's uniform. Probably with pinstripes, or red socks.

Herzog, Harvey earn Hall of Fame entrance on Veterans' Committee Ballot

We can debate whether former manager Whitey Herzog deserves a place in the Hall of Fame (personally, I say yes).

But there should be no debating the fact that there should be a place for retired umpire Doug Harvey.

Both Herzog and Harvey are on the Veterans' Committee ballot, results of which will be announced Monday in Indianapolis. Last time they were on it, in 2007, each man came up one vote short of election to the Hall.

Herzog guided the Cardinals to three NL titles, and he managed one World Series winner (1982, St. Louis). Harvey was so good and authoritative that he was called "God" by the players during his time.

No umpire has been admitted to Cooperstown since Nester Chylak in 1999, and only three have been admitted since 1977. It would be especially apropos to admit another old-school ump now, during a time when too many of today's men in blue -- not all -- are overly arrogant and lacking.

Harvey? A few years ago, the Society for American Baseball Research ranked Harvey as the second greatest umpire of the 20th century of professional baseball, behind Bill Klem.

Now, about former players union head Marvin Miller. ...

McGwire: All I want to do in 2010 is talk about the past

In an extraordinary measure of supporting a good man who played a huge part in the franchise's history ... or of flipping off the baseball establishment (take your pick), the Cardinals named Mark McGwire hitting coach in late October, promising soon thereafter that McGwire publicly will address ... something.

We're still waiting, and there isn't much middle ground here. This is going to become either one of the great reputation rehabilitations of our time, or an utter disaster for the Cardinals. McGwire is going to have to make a sharp break from his "I'm not here to talk about the past" address to Congress in 2005. He emerged from that badly diminished, a legacy in tatters, becoming the butt of jokes ever since.

McGwire owes many people some explanations, not the least of whom is the Maris family and baseball fans.

Sports Illustrated names Jeter Sportsman of Year, sabermetricians cheer

Naw, that'll never happen!