Updated Feb. 17, 2010
I'm not one of those insufferable bastards who links the start of spring training with the dawn of a new day. The words "pitchers and catchers report" do not make my heart swell with spring's sweet promise. They do not make my toes regress from their current state of nigh-gangrenous hypothermia.
That said, anything that sets folks a-thinking about baseball can only be a good thing, especially if it happens to shift the cocktail-party banter away from Sarah Palin and Lost. In that spirit, I humbly offer the debut of the 2010 Power Rankings.
Before I begin, here's a refresher on the rules. The Power Rankings purport to "rank" baseball's 30 teams in descending order of their perceived "power." They are a present-day snapshot; the September 1 rankings won't take into account the way the Pirates manhandled the Phillies on May 18. As always, they are deliberately and obnoxiously biased against your favorite team, as well as those franchises that have the temerity to play in a division other than the AL East or commence their home games later than 7:50 p.m. Eastern time.
There. Debate away.