Johnny on the spot: How well does Damon know Michigan?
LAKELAND, Fla. -- Johnny Damon says Detroit is "where I wanted to be," and that "the Tigers were my first choice"? He speaks of a longstanding desire to play there and rhapsodizes about Red Wings hockey?
Yeah? Perfect. I know just the guy to find out whether Damon is for real with this I ♥ Detroit jazz.
So I stopped by Lakeland the other day and administered a quiz. You might be surprised at how well he fares:
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| Johnny Damon is closer to his beloved Red Wings. (AP) |
J.D.: Michigan.
Me: True or False: The Tigers play their home games in Tiger Stadium.
J.D.: That's false. That's the old stadium there.
Me: What is it about Comerica Park that turns you into a tiger?
J.D.: I haven't played there yet, so ... I just think you can take advantage of the large outfield because the outfielders do have to run a bit there. So there are more balls that can drop in, or you can hit it over guys' heads.
Me: Do you know your career on-base percentage in Comerica Park?
J.D.: No, I don't.
Me: It's .412.
J.D.: Ooooh, hopefully I can keep that up.
Me: Your career batting average in Comerica?
J.D.: I think it's .363. I kind of saw that a few times.
Me: How about your career slugging percentage in Comerica? Do you know that?
J.D.: No, I do not.
Me: It's .550.
J.D.: Oooh!
Me: That's 111 points higher than your overall career slugging percentage.
J.D.: I like it. I like it.
Me: Name two Tigers Hall of Famers.
J.D.: Al Kaline. Ty Cobb. Charlie Gehringer, also. Hank Greenberg.
Me:What number did Ty Cobb wear?
J.D.: Long pause
Me: I'll give you a hint, it's a trick question.
J.D.: It is? Oh, shoot. I know Gehringer was No. 4, right? [Actually, the Hall of Fame second baseman wore No. 2]. Um, hmmm, that's never rang a bell with me. Was it No. 1?
Me: He played before players wore numbers on their jerseys. He didn't have a number on his back.
J.D.: OK, I was like, wow, I have no clue.
Me: Which pizza do you prefer: Domino's or Little Caesars?
J.D.: Come on, Little Caesar's. [Tigers owner Mike Ilitch, the man who will sign Damon's paychecks, owns Little Caesars].
Me: When the state of Michigan bans smoking in public places in May, a ban that will include smoking in Comerica Park, do you plan to avoid Jim Leyland? Explain.
J.D.: Not at all. Hopefully we'll be shaking hands and giving high fives a lot in the dugout.
Me: Let's move on to geography. The state of Michigan is shaped like: A) A mitten. B) A '55 Thunderbird. C) Aretha Franklin.
J.D.: A mitten.
Me: You're rolling.
J.D.: It's that Florida education.
Me: Do you use, or when you were with the Yankees did you have a personal driver who used, something invented by Michigander Henry Ford?
J.D.: Yes. I have a '71 Ford Bronco and a Ford 350 truck.
Me: Which country borders Michigan?
J.D.: That would be Canada.
Me: If someone called you a Yooper this summer, what would you do?
J.D.: Shoot. Isn't that what one of the minor league teams is called up there? A Yooper? They didn't teach us that in the Florida schools. What's a Yooper?
Me: People who are from the Upper Peninsula. They call them Yoopers.
J.D.: OK. OK. I've got that now.
Me: Who are Alan Trammell and Lou Whitaker?
J.D.: They were a Dynamic Duo shortstop and second baseman from the 1980s until, what was it, '95 or '96?
Me: Do you figure Detroit is called Motown because there is a big fan club of Moe from the Three Stooges, or is there another reason?
J.D.: No, they've had a lot of great music come out of there. Motown's because of the great music history.
Me: Fill in the blank of this famous KISS song: _____ Rock City.
J.D.: Detroit Rock City!
Me: Who is your favorite musician from Detroit?
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| Kid Rock and Damon can hang out even more now that Damon's in Detroit. (Getty Images) |
Me: Did he play All Summer Long?
J.D.: That one wasn't out yet. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown was a big one that night.
Me: Which is your favorite Bob Seger song?
J.D.: The one that's on the car commercials. Like a Rock.
Me: Madonna is from Michigan. Did you ever get to third base with her?
J.D.: (Laughing) No, that was for my other teammate.
Me: When legendary broadcaster Ernie Harwell described a batter as standing there like the house by the side of the road, what did he mean?
J.D.: (Thinking out loud). Hmm, like a house by the side of the road ... he stood there still watching a pitch go by?
Me: Called third strike. OK, everyone knows fans throw octopi onto the ice at important Red Wings games. Your agent said when he and you go to a Greek restaurant, you always order octopus because of your love for the Red Wings. What does it taste like? And don't say chicken.
J.D.: It's a little chewy, you can't chew it too long. You've got to take a few bites and then swallow it. If you chew it for too long it can get a little messy.
Me: The coolest Miss America ever, Kaye-Lani Rafko, was Miss America 1988 and is as pretty and lovely a lady as you would ever meet. She went to high school in Monroe, Mich., with which extraordinarily well-known baseball writer?
J.D.: I would say you.
Me: You're good. OK, so if she's at a game sitting in the first few rows, and you're in the on-deck circle, and someone slices a foul ball, will you promise to protect her and deflect it?
J.D.: Absolutely. It's important to keep women pretty.
Me: Why the Tigers?
J.D.: It just made a lot of sense. I felt like this team was close to winning. They missed the playoffs by a game last year. They're a young team. Because of the youth, they still have that hunger to go out and win. And I think the veterans here have something to prove also. You don't know how many opportunities you get to play on a good team, and I think that's what some of these people are thinking about.
It works for my family. I get to drive 45 minutes every day to spring training [Damon lives in Orlando, Fla.], which is perfect. I feel like I know a lot of these guys already by playing against them so much in spring training in the past.
But most importantly, I feel like we have a chance to win. The first two months are going to be the key for us. That's the toughest part of our schedule. If we can get by in decent shape I think we have a chance.
Me: First impressions?
J.D.: I love it. I've been here about a week. I've hung out with the guys a few times already. It just seems like everybody likes each other. It's a great place to be.
Me: Name your three favorite things about Detroit.
J.D.: I've definitely enjoyed the casinos a bit. Love the baseball field. And I love the Red Wings.
