Updated April 27
It's the Monday after NFL Draft weekend, which can mean only one thing: Grades for everyone and everything! So, following the brave lead of NFL pundits attempting to justify a grade higher than L-minus for the Broncos' selection of Tim Tebow, I offer the following exclusive Power Rankings report card for the baseball week that was.
Dobrow: Top leadoff hitters & closers
I'm giving an A-minus to the Metsies of New York, who quashed a brewing fan mutiny by winning six of the first seven on their homestand. Turns out that the best way for an unlucky, downtrodden, crestfallen, medically negligent, politically tone-deaf, weak-little-sister franchise to right the organizational ship is by winning a few games against C-plus competition. Fans, management and even the players themselves appear to prefer winning to losing. Who knew?
Along these lines, the similarly whiplashed Astros and Padres receive an even loftier grade -- a full-out A -- because expectations were far lower. Mom and dad are totally going to raise their allowances.
The alternate home uniforms of the sort worn by the Rays and Royals this weekend get an F ... for FABULOUS! While I loved the lushly pigmented nod to high couture, there was a bit too much overlap between the hues to merit Project Runway consideration. The Rays wore baby blue and the Royals went with sky blue; to the trained eye, the two tints came across as similar and just a wee itty bit dull. Perhaps a dash of color -- a mauve cravat here, a slimming teal pinstripe there -- would have let the uniforms flower into the fashionista finery they were born to be.
Finally, I'm giving an F-triple-minus to the mediocrity -- did I say "mediocrity"? I meant "sweet, rapturous parity" -- that descended upon the game last week. As of Monday afternoon, 25 teams were within four games of .500 in one direction or the other. While this may give rise to lots of "we're gonna build something this summer!" pep rallies led by local sports-radio personalities, it makes ordering the teams from 1 to 30 darn near impossible.
I'm not cowed by the task; most of us understand that a single sublime week (or month, for that matter) doesn't magically transform a bunch of nobodies into October-ready wonderboys. But try telling that to last week's Negative Ned, temporarily transformed into Mr. Rainbow Q. Sunshine by his favorite team's four-game winning streak. Sigh.