Clemens' charges serious, but it's hard to take 'em as such -- yet
Stop the presses! Stop the presses!
(Pause to catch breath).
Roger Clemens was indicted Thursday on charges of making false statements to Congress about his use of performance-enhancing drugs!
(Pause to slow heavy panting).
Except, um. ...
Barry Bonds was indicted by the Feds back in the black-and-white television era -- OK, it was in 2007 -- and he still hasn't come to trial.
Miguel Tejada was indicted by the Feds for lying to Congress in February 2009, and all he got was this lousy T-shirt ... well, close. He wound up with a year's probation, 100 hours of community service and a $5,000 fine.
And those bastards from BP and AIG ... oh, wait. Sorry. That's a different section of the Internet.
Clemens? The only things we know for sure on the latest dark day for baseball's golden boys from the 1990s and early 2000s are these:
1. Getting crossways with Congress is a very, very bad idea.
2. This thing is going to remain on simmer for a very, very long time.
Not to diminish the seriousness of Thursday's news, because being indicted for lying to Congress ranks right up there atop the list of anyone's bad days, but it comes in the midst of heavy-duty Steroids Fatigue and Bonds Fatigue.
Aside from Clemens' lawyers and accountants, the only time these indictments are going to mean anything to the rest of us is when one of these guys is put on ice in the pokey, or even hauled into court for a trial instead of a hearing.
If one of those two things happen, we'll sit rapt and engrossed.
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Short of either of those two things, it's getting difficult to take this stuff with much more than a head nod and a yawn.
And while watching the economy continue to tank, the Gulf oil spill debacle, the immigration crisis and the spiraling federal deficit -- among other things -- it's beyond the point of calling out our do-nothing Congress for negligence when it dives into the baseball world.
But I digress.
Without a doubt, Thursday was a huge setback for Clemens.
But Tejada suffered a huge setback two winters ago, too. And as Clemens' lawyers were digesting the hot-off-the-press indictment Thursday, there Tejada was, batting second and playing shortstop for the Padres against the Cubs in Wrigley Field on Thursday afternoon.
The wheels of justice grind more slowly than a Molina on the basepaths and more unpredictably than an Ozzie Guillen rant, and particularly where physical evidence and chain of custody are concerned. As we've seen in the Bonds case, when key components are ruled inadmissible, the Feds are happy to go into a four-corner stall.
As far as the United States of America v. Roger Clemens moving into the on-deck circle, this indictment makes clear that, in their dueling 2008 testimony to Congress regarding Clemens' alleged steroids and human growth hormone use, and regarding his personal trainer Brian McNamee's B-12 injections, the Feds believe the trainer over the pitcher.
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| Roger Clemens' case will simmer for a long time -- just like Barry Bonds'. (AP) |
The prosecutors and the grand jury that investigated Clemens? Same ones who hounded Tejada.
And when Tejada pleaded guilty in March, 2009, this is what assistant U.S. attorney Steven Durham told the court: "People have to know that when Congress asks questions, it's serious business. And if you don't tell the truth -- and we can prove you haven't told the truth -- then there will be accountability."
Question now is, how accountable will Clemens be going forward?
He'd doggedly denied everything so far. No, he's never used steroids. No, he's never used HGH. No, no, no.
But this isn't umpire Terry Cooney and the American League playoffs. Applying war paint to the face, pounding the chest and howling a primal scream clearly isn't the best way to beat this opponent.
What Clemens and his lawyer Rusty Harden need, clearly, is a new strategy.
Problem is, the old one left no wiggle room.
Unless, of course, Clemens is, like, you know, telling the truth. Which he continued to push in a post-indictment salvo on Twitter ("I never took HGH or Steroids. And I did not lie to Congress. I look forward to challenging the Governments. ...")
But you saw his testimony before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, I saw it and as the Feds now have officially determined, two plus two wasn't equaling four on that day.
In becoming the first high-profile baseball player convicted of a crime during the steroids era, Tejada faced up to a year imprisonment and a $100,000 fine. That was for pleading guilty to just one charge.
Clemens, once a Hall of Famer and then an alleged steroid guy and now headed toward that Pete Rose/Sammy Sosa/Barry Bonds exile in Never Never Land, is facing a six-count grand jury indictment that says he obstructed a congressional inquiry with 15 statements that he made under oath.
Where it goes from here, it's too soon to say.
All I can tell you is where it isn't going for now, and that's to Cooperstown.
Either Congress has mucked this one up far beyond what even they seem capable of, or Andy Pettitte sure did do a whole lot of "mishearing" during those conversations with his old (and probably by now ex) pal Clemens.
Pick your poison.
